i know why the black girl screams

mama was a rolling stone...

2005-07-27T17:57:00.000-04:00

after what seemed like an utter collapse of my other blog, i have moved. again. i'm gonna start collecting domains like another blogging friend of mine.

huzzah!

2005-01-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

i've moved.

friday random ten

2005-01-28T13:49:00.000-05:00

1. lil' flip, "sun don't shine" (ugh; don't ask me; i downloaded this song for my cousin)
2. black eyed peas, "latin girls" (again, don't ask. i love/hate this crap.)
3. the beatles, "wild honey pie"
4. jay-z, "do it again (put your hands up)"
5. new edition, "hot tonite" (another song i downloaded for my cousin; i need to talk to her.)
6. ani difranco, "out of range (acoustic)"
7. q-tip, "a million times"
8. jill scott, "whatever"
9. the beatles "fixing a hole"
10.janet jackson, "i want you"

as a whole, i must say that i'm dissapointed with my random 10, but of those that i liked, here are two of my favorite lines:
-- "men get locked in some prison / women get locked in some house / and it doesn't matter if it's a warden or a lover or a spouse /"
-- "you represented in the fashion of the truly gifted"

can you guess where they're from?

further proof that blogger sucks

2005-01-28T13:24:00.000-05:00

number of posts blogger says i have: 36
number of posts wordpress shows i truly have: 86

oooh, i can't wait to leave.

...in case you haven't noticed, i haven't posted a lot this week and am posting a lot today. i've been kind of slacking on posts this week partly due to a SUCKY work week (i need a vacation), a semi-sprained hand and general malaise. however, after girlwonder subtly talked about my blogging slackage this week, i'm producing a weeks' worth of posts just to spite her. :)
...well, that, and i *do* have a lot to say today.

can i also say that i wanted to partake in sid's celebration of food but i can't get next friday off? the bastards.

..and mr. censor strikes again.

2005-01-28T11:50:00.000-05:00

as i was checking the lineup for monday's good morning america (doublechecking a tv listing i'm editing), i ran across this. apparently, the new education secretary is upset about an episode of a pbs cartoon called "postcards from buster" because the episode, in which buster tours vermont and educates kids about farming and maple sugaring, has two lesbian couples in the episode.

nevermind the focis is on vermont, farming and maple sugaring.

nevermind the show never says, "hey, this is a gay couple!" or explains anything about same sex unions.

just the mere sight of a lesbian couple has sparked the new secretary of education, margaret spellings, to ask the boston pbs station that produces the show to refund the government the money it contributed to that episode and remove the seal of the department of ed from that show. Her reasoning?

"Many parents would not want their young children exposed to the lifestyles portrayed in the episode," Spellings wrote in a letter sent Tuesday to Pat Mitchell, president and chief executive officer of PBS.

"Congress' and the Department's purpose in funding this programming certainly was not to introduce this kind of subject matter to children, particularly through the powerful and intimate medium of television."

from ap article

the boston station has said they will not distribute it to all of the pbs stations, but will leave it available for stations to air at their own discretion. however, wgbh has said they will still air the episode. right on.

i can't say i'm surprised with the board of ed. it's very in keeping with their current policies. i just think it's amazing that a man who on wednesday said that america will be "reflecting universal values and universal ideas that honor each man and woman, that recognize human rights and human dignity depends upon human liberty," yet we still in this country don't give basic rights to gays and lesbians (or people of color, for that matter).

hello mr. censor.

2005-01-28T11:15:00.000-05:00

this is ridiculous. (stole the link from girlwonder.) not only are the nfl and fox banning an ad because it even mentions the "wardrobe malfunction" at last year's super bowl, but fox is also changing the name of their show to the best darn sport show?

fox has also decided to pixelate peter griffin's butt in an upcoming episode of family guy.

c'mon people. aren't we getting a little ridiculous? advertisers and tv folk are now so nervous that overlord powell and the fcc are gonna swoop down and fine them for offending even *one* person, that they are censoring themselves on trivial matters. this is effin' ridic.

it'd be one thing if the budweiser commercial reenacted the "wardrobe malfunction" -- hell, let me stop censoring myself -- janet's boob popping out, but they just allude to the whole incident. and it'd be one thing if the sports show was called the "best fucking sports show ever," but it's just damn. kids hear it all the time in church. ...and hear "bitch" on tv every so often.

::sigh::

this society is going crazy. we're all going to kill ourselves eventually, with the nation so split in extremes -- a society where the porn industry generates $5 billion in profits a year while a tv networks are afraid to say a word that appears in the bible or show a CARTOON butt!

everybody needs to just take a chill pill.

::yawn::

2005-01-24T12:34:00.000-05:00

i know i've said i was tired before, but today i am utterly, completely, devastatingly tired.

why, you may ask, expecially since i spent the weekend holed up in my apartment thanks to the blizzard outside?

because my dumb ass decided to wait until this morning to dig out and clean out my car.

luckily, i got some help from the sherylster and kester, but i'm still exhausted from digging my car out of 19 inches of snow.

i better not be here next year.

me + vast amounts of snow = miss crankypants

...however, i did lose and find my right glove for the second time in a week. i keep losing it, and oddly enough, it keeps coming back. hmm.

blogger sucks

2005-01-20T16:24:00.000-05:00

i must say that google gets it right most of the time.

i love google and all its many different searches. (my newest love of google's search options is their news search.)

gmail SO rocks my world. the many different options for searching and cross referencing is soo kick ass, and its gargantuan storage space is the bestest ever.

however, blogger sucks ass. they must be going thru server issues or something, because for the past two days, i've had numerous issues -- not being able to access my posts to edit, losing posts, ending up with multiple posts of the same thing -- and the fact that they do not have trackback is becoming a major issue too. i think i may have to make the move to my new blog, spiffy layout ready or not, cos i just. can't. take. it.

the wounds have healed.

2005-01-20T13:50:00.000-05:00

i went and read ambra's blog this morning. i think it's symbolic, that on the day of the idiot's inauguration, that i was able to go and read the blog of a conservative i respect, something i haven't been able to do since the election.

and since i enjoyed waging a (one-sided) debate against someone on the same side of the fence with me earlier this week, why not do the same with the 'ol right winger?

aaaaand boy do i have some stuff to talk about.

first off, ambra has a brief post on consumer reports' condom survey results. noting that consumer reports rated two brands of planned parenthood's condoms as ones people should avoid, ambra wrote:

Consumer Reports recently released some research that suggests that just maybe, they hand out condoms and birth control with the hopes that youth will fail and become customers in the infanticide turned big business holocaust known as "abortion clinics". Ya don't say?

Apparently, the condoms Planned Parenthood give out rank very low compared to other brands. And here I thought PP wasn't capable of lies...

i have multiple problems with this.

first off, she incorrectly attributes consumer report's survey as suggesting that planned parenthood hands out condoms with the hopes that youth's attempts at contraception will fail. consumer reports offers no opinion on any condom manufacturer's intentions and offers no opinion about anything relating to contraception other than the facts they discovered through scientific testing.

secondly, i think it's ridiculous to believe that an organization that is about providing contraception would want their customers to fail. just because you don't agree with abortion doesn't give cause to demonize a group that provides women a choice other than (a) needlessly dying from an STD and/or (b) getting pregnant before one is (economically, emotionally) ready to be. (now we could get into the debate about whether someone who isn't emotionally ready for a child shouldn't be having sex, but that's for another day.) that seems more of what a pro-life organization would do to further undermine the truth that condoms do work.

thirdly, perhaps we should compare the sources of these different condoms before we even blame planned parenthood for deceit. all of the condoms tested were from for-profit companies, except for planned parenthood. planned parenthood relies on volunteers, grants and private contributions, among other things, to keep running. planned parenthood condoms are distributed for free or little cost, in comparision to some of the best testing condoms, which are sold for (at least) $16 for a pack of 24. therefore, it is understandable if they are not able to have as great condom quality as the for-profit condom providers.

lastly, she fails to note that not all planned parenthood condoms were poo-pooed; their "lollipop" brand landed in the middle of the pack as far as quality is concerned.

perhaps i should consider the source which she got her news from. but as an intelligent, thoughtful writer, i would have expected her to wage her arguments more on fact than the opinion of a news source that makes no bones about being slanted to one side.

i would love to talk about her other posts that insist that the martin luther king holiday is useless and that calling new washington governor christine gregoire's husband "first gentleman" is a ridiculous "fake title to keep the feminists happy." ugh. when did feminism and feminists become a dirty word? when did it become so horrible to want men and women to be treated equally?

but i'm tired. maybe i'll get on that later.

**update @ 3:30:**
ambra's response:

Um, to all the folks suggesting that the report didn't seek to connect motives. DUH.
People take reports and draw their own conclusions. Life news drew theirs and it's not far-fetched.
Considering the fact that abortion clinics are strategically placed similarly to Liquor Stores in the center of many an urban community, I think we ought to be just a little honest with ourselves and consider the very foundation of an organization like PP.
Plain and simple, PP benefits from teenagers screwing up (no pun in tended). That in and of itself leaves gaping opportunities for foul-play.
The least we can do is admit that.

PP is an organization composed of other non-profit organizations. non-profits do not serve to profit(as indicated in their names), but instead provide a service. PP's service is to provide means of contraception and education about contraception for those who cannot afford it, and/or are unaware of their options.

which goes to the other point that abortion clinics are placed in the center of many urban communities -- unlike liquor stores, which serve a product for profit that only negatively affects those who take it, the foundation of an organization like PP is to provide another choice. people don't get pregnant b/c the abortion clinic is around the corner. people get pregnant b/c they are either irresponsible and do not take the proper precautions when they have sex, or are uninformed on their options for contraception. PP doesn't profit from abortions and unplanned pregnancies any more than the Red Cross profits from natural disasters.

i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

son of a bitch

2005-01-19T13:27:00.000-05:00

i had written about 5 random thoughts and then stupid blogger fucked up and couldn't post my post, resulting in a loss of my witty observations.

stanking blogger.

a brief recap:
i slipped on ice in the supermarket parking lot monday, which resulted in much embarassment but no bruising, thanks to my well-cushioned ass. i hate winter.

i hate my hair. i'm going through my bimonthly "i hate my hair" phase. i think i'm going to cut it.

i can't get the damned gilmore girls theme song out of my head.

happy freakin holidays

2005-01-19T10:58:00.000-05:00

a blurb on the police blotter i'm editing:

A man, 27, took his wallet out to purchase a ticket at a machine on the south side of the Inwood Long Island Rail Road station on Jan. 1. A group of about six males surrounded the man and hit him with large plastic candy cane decorations. The man dropped his wallet as he fled from the assailants; he suffered scrapes on his left hand in the attack.

i can't make this stuff up.

smart men, smarter women

2005-01-18T17:03:00.000-05:00

i read feministing's lambasting of maureen o'dowd for a column on studies that point to men's preference for subordinate mates (studies here and here). i feel her indignation, but i beg to differ on her interpretation of maureen o'dowd's comments.

feministing says that o'dowd blames feminism for men's supposed preferences:

So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't have to talk to.

Firstly, Dowd’s assumption that young women or women in the service industry are somehow NOT smart and are more likely to “service” men in their personal life is just disgusting.

And I’m sorry, but the last time I checked, feminism wasn’t a fucking dating service! If some asshole doesn’t want to date you because you’re smart and successful, is it the fault of feminism or the asshole?

she then goes to criticize o'dowd's quoting of hollywood sources as her proof and asserts that men's should be given more credit than o'dowd and the studies are giving them.

now, on her base beliefs, i definitely agree. men should be given more credit. not all men are pigs that want to lord over their women. feminism isn't a dating service. some women in the service industry are smart(just as some women in other industries are not). but i don't think maureen is saying the opposite of any of these things in her column. she simply questions the idea that men can be (and are) okay with women being on the same level as them (and thus want to be with them, too).

i think it's a fair question.

some men (and, sadly, some women) aren't ok with the greater possiblities women have (for greater education, higher positions of power, etc.). that can be seen in the studies by the university of michigan and the four british universities. i don't know what feministing's experiences with this issue are, but i know, at least, that this is an issue for some in the black community. many black men have a problem with their woman making more money than them because that means that they aren't the primary bread winner, and in some sense, are being "taken care of" by their women. in other words, for some men (black and otherwise), a successful woman emasculates them since they are no longer "taking care of their woman," as a man should(black feminism talks about this specific issue for black folk).

o'dowd sees this, has talked to women who have witnessed this, and now has studies that say this, so she writes a column about it. just because she writes about it doesn't mean that she believes it herself. and tho she does refer to those in service positions as "below" those in "higher" positions, i don't think (perhaps naively) that she was insinuating that these people are dumber than others; it's just that higher education, one of our society's measuring sticks for intelligence, is one of the biggest tickets to those other industries..

it would have been great if she had gotten some non-hollywood sources that see this as a problem. and perhaps she shouldn't have drawn a line between less-wanted women with higher IQs and more-wanted women in secretarial, assistant positions. but i think she makes a valid point by highlighting that many instances in reality and film lately point to the trend of men going towards those whose jobs are to take care of them, rather than those in jobs that help themselves or others.

o'dowd isn't making an anti-feminist point, she's reiterating a point that has been made by many feminists (betty friedan's the feminine mystique immediately comes to mind) -- that there's something wrong a society that says it's ok for men to (a) actively seek women who seem to solely exist to take care of them and (b) to avoid women who demonstrate their own independence.

food overload

2005-01-17T15:22:00.000-05:00

mommage left this morning, with loads of takeout leftovers in my fridge.

why am i considering throwing out the whole lot out when i get home tonight? i'm conflicted, cos i've been raised to never waste food, but the indian food i ordered fri. nite wasn't as bangin' as i had hoped (note to self: never order chicken vindaloo again), and the other two meals ... i have a feeling that they won't be as good during their encore performance.

i'm kind of excited about cooking tonight, but i'm kind of not. i abhor going to the grocery store. i pay $50 for food that i get one, maybe two good uses out of. it's ridiculous.

i'm in a semi bitchy mood(what's new, huh?). i'm sending myself to my room until my mood has improved.

friday roundup

2005-01-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

the day started out pretty craptacular -- it was a rainy morning, i didn't want to get out of my bed, and i let myself down by not going to the gym this morning. i made a deal with myself, as i was driving home last night, that i would not go to a little taste of italy then, but would go to the gym this morning and reward myself with gargantuan extra delicioso cream puffs tonite. weelll, it didn't happen.

soo, i came in feeling kind of craptacular for various reasons, but my day was *suddenly* brightened -- i forgot that today was payday! and then, on top of that, not only was it pay day, but apparently, it was BONUS day too! whoo hoo! i paid off one of my credit card balances this morning, thanks to my BONUS and i may even take my mom out to dinner this weekend(she and my cousin are driving in tonight for the weekend).
...or maybe i'll be a stingy pants and just put the excess in savings. yeah, i think i'll do that instead.

at any rate, here's the friday linky link roundup:
-- in the no big surprise department, macy's admits that it has singled out blacks and latinos unfairly when it comes to shoplifting. it includes the story of a woman who was accused of shoplifting tho she produced receipts and the new york state attorney's findings that 75 percent of shoppers detained at macy's stores were black and latino, even tho the number of actual latino shoppers was significantly less.

-- a story on a school district that is opting to teach alternatives to evolution in their school district, including "intelligent design," which states thet all living organisms are so complex that there had to be some divine hand in their creation. the york daily record (the local paper and the paper i interned at for two summers) has a nice series on it, too.
...and to think i lived in this area two summers in a row.

-- two great new blogs i found ultimately thanks to feministe -- she's like the internet switchboard for feminist blogs, i tell ya -- blackfeminism.org and sister outsider.

-- and speaking of blackfeminism, i got this link from the site, about a court that ruled that it was ok for a company to fire women if they didn't wear makeup. their rationale? the act wasn't an issue of gender inequality because it was just as fair to force women to wear makeup as it was to force men not to wear makeup. completely ridiculous, i tell you.

haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog

2005-01-13T13:32:00.000-05:00

so i impulsively got haloscan trackback for my blog, even tho i'm about to leave this place for greener pastures. i then realized that since i installed this, it erased all my other comments! grr.

i only did it so i could trackback other people's blogs, but again, it's kinda foolish on my part, since i'm about to leave.

work is slooooow today. it's hard trying to look productive when you have no avenue thru which to be productive. i've looked and overlooked every story in my queue. lord, please help me off of this plantation..

hmm. i'm gonna go try this trackback thingy. (hopefully) i'll be back later.

...and did i mention how i'm struggling to not drive my car to a little taste of italy tonite and getting more cream puffs? i have a problem.

and the girl gets what she wants.

2005-01-12T22:03:00.000-05:00

a coworker referred me to an italian bakery that's 10 minutes out of the way on the way home, this bakery and deli appropriately named a little taste of italy. :)

by the time i got there (an hour before it closed) they didn't have any small cream puffs. but they had these gargantuan puffs convered with chocolate and topped with a chocolate covered strawberry. i went a little crazy and got a connoli and a coffee tiramisu type dessert thingy:

that's yummy goodness right there.

i am exerting extraordinary will power and have only eaten the cream puff -- and i must say that it was FREAKIN' AMAZING! a little taste of italy kicks culinary ass.

cream puffs, city life and pop gay culture

2005-01-12T16:29:00.000-05:00

i want cream puffs. don't know why, but the craving hit me a couple hours ago. got a recommendation for a nice italian bakery in deer park, which i'm going to try tonight, but it's iff whether they will have cream puffs. i also hear that trader joe's has yummy frozen puffs, but i don't feel like going there tonight; the italian bakery is kinda sorta on my way home.

hmmmm.

i miss being in d.c., where there was this nice italian bakery at the food court, of all places, in union station, vaccaro's which had yummy cream puffs for not too much money. ::sigh.:: i think it's becoming more and more apparent that i need to live in a city; i grew up in rurality for 18 years, but i crave the convenience and "we-have-everything"-nesss of a major city. long island is close to nyc, but damnit, it's not close enough.

...in other news, i watched queer eye for the straight girl last night, partly out of curiosity on how these women would be made over, and partly out of curiosity to scope out the resident lesbian. i don't dig queer eye for the straight guy -- the men on that show get on my nerves. i don't know why, but i thought that *maybe* this one would be a little better... not so much.

the men are as gay as ever, but what irked me more than anything was the res les, honey. i'm ok that she's a little (actually, verry) femme-y -- hell, i'm a little femme-y -- but what irked me was that while all the guys had specific occupations/purposes ("the look," "the life," "the locale"), honey's purpose is just as "the girl." her whole purpose, it seems is to come in and serve as a nice lezzie accompaniment who swoops in to give the poor straight girl make-up tips, as if one of the guys couldn't give her even better makeup tips (actually, robbie, "the look" was putting on makeup while honey helped rebekah apply lipstick correctly). add that to the fact that while the men are verrry gay, honey was just ... there.

that tapped into another pet peeve i have with mainstream pop culture; while there are plenty of gay men running around all through pop culture, with a good mix of gay men (will and grace is a perfect example of that), there are so few gay women out there. where are the good lesbian role models out there? one could argue ellen is one, but forget that -- while she was with her partner, tho she could clearly be seen with a ring on her left hand fourth finger, she never once mentioned her on the show. and while she said she doesn't want to be seen as a political force, she could at least mention some aspects of her gay life from time to time.

all that's left is rosie o'donnell, who seemed to go crazy and mean in the public spotlight after she came out (exhibit a - that damned flock of seagulls haircut) and a dearth of lesbian characters(all you see are softball-playing butch women or the male-fantasy-ish supermodel kissing a supermodel).

the only positive thing i've seen is the l word, which while having issues with rarely having any butch-y lezzies on the show (altho, it's in la, so maybe even the butch-y girls look glam), is a positive show that shows women who love women that aren't solely defined by their gayness, but are significantly affected by their orientation.

far be it for me to pass judgement on whether someone is gay enough -- i'm barely out to most of my co-workers and you certainly don't see my running around with any gay paraphenalia -- but it's still unnerving to me to see that there are so few positive gay women and/or characters out there that are willing to talk about their gayness at least once in a while.

i'll get down from my soapbox now, especially since i started out this post talking about cream puffs. :)

and one more way...

2005-01-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

...for apple to take your money.

i'm excited

2005-01-11T11:23:00.000-05:00

even tho the day started pretty craptacular and promises to continue as such (i drove to work in sleet this morning and according to the weather channel, i'll be driving home in snow this evening), my spirits are still raised, as girlwonder is now helping ease my layout dilemma/meltdown. i'm not gonna say anymore about it until it is done ... just know there are changes a'coming! whoo hoo!

in other news, i've requested to be listed as a feminist blogger on feministe's blog. i felt like SUCH a dork yesterday cos my heart skipped a beat when i saw my blog listed in feministe's loooong ass list of bloggers. i may be 1 of 50, but hey, i'm listed. i've now reached my goal -- to be mentioned by two bloggers i respect - the aforementioned feministe and sid.
now, i'm onto a new goal. besides getting out a new layout for my blog, i've decided to put forth the goal of having at least one blog a week on a feminist topic -- i think at the least, i will point my (6) readers to articles/topics of feminist import, but i'm going try to put out some opinion and/or insight as well. i've been maning to write on women and the media for almost a month now; perhaps i'll get on that later today.

however, as for now, i must go do some actual work. heee.

overwhelmed

2005-01-07T14:15:00.000-05:00

before i get into my rant, check out bessie coleman, the first licensed black aviator in the world. she got her license in france in 1919 cos no flying schools in america would accept her, not only b/c she was black, but b/c she was a woman. very gutsy woman whom you rarely see in your usual black history programs.

...and onto the rantage. as i mentioned in my last post, part of the reason for my absence has been my unhappiness with my current blog design.

i'm very particular about what i want. i want a design that fills three criteria:
1. it fits my personality, mood and title of my blog. (therefore, blogs with pastels, pictures of lillies or puppies really isn't gonna work here.)
2. the layout is 3 columns and written with css.
3. it's free.

on my down time at work, i've been looking for templates i can copy the basic structure that i can riff off of, but i must say that i've become overwhelmed; i've seen lots of examples of what i want mine to look like(like here and here) and i even found a skeleton layout that i could soo build my template from, but then i run into the issue of bringing it in so that it works with blogger's tags and header, etc. and i get confus-ed.

to get around blogger issues, i've started flirting with the idea of getting my own domain and a setup like typepad or wordpress or expression or something (i don't even know if they're all the same thing), but even exploring that avenue has me overwhelmed!

when my parents got divorced and my mom was forced to go out in the working world again, she kind of fell into the information systems field. as a result, for almost as long as i can remember, we've had a computer in the house. i was always up on the latest stuff (even if we could afford to have it ourselves) and i was interested in being up on the latest stuff. i taught myself some html and used to be pretty up on the latest stuff.
however, real life (school, then work and girlfriend, friends and family somewhere inbetween) gradually took up a larger chunk of my time that it used to and as i simply search for a template for my blog that fits me, i find i'm way over my head.

too much drama over a small thing? maybe. but this (blogging) isn't necessarily a small thing to me; it's an avenue to find like-minded people outside of who/what i already know, and most importantly, i nice place for me to write and vent. so is it a small thing to want to have control over how said avenue looks?

...and of the same token, i feel like the stupidest person on earth cos i still haven't figured out how trackback links work.

she's back

2005-01-06T13:28:00.000-05:00

sid slowly dragged me back online.

as evidenced by the last two posts, i've been feeling, for lack of better word, blah, lately. january is usually my least favorite month of the year -- it's after the holidays, winter truly sets in (with two more months of coldness ahead), with the sun making chance appearances while it's cold as all holy hell outside (my hell is cold, damn it). i hate winter, especially since i am now officially a grown up and will never have a snow day again. add to that the crappy mood at work, what with people leaving and the thin, dumb, crappy product we're putting out lately, and i haven't been in the mood to really type anything. or read many blogs, for that matter.
oh yeah. and i also didn't win aroundthewaygirl's contest. i wanted my own domain. poo.

at the same time, i've renewed my quest to do my own template for this blog thingy, which has been vaguely unsuccessful, altho i have not given up hope yet.

in typical maryann fashion, some random tidbits:

-- i heart gmail. i just discovered a new feature on my gmail this morning -- when i select an address out of contacts, it shows all the emails i've sent to that person or had sent to me from that person. ::sigh.:: i want to run away with gmail, marry it and have thousands of its babies.
-- sid should get public congratulations of her new arrival. :D
-- i've gotta get back in the gym. i fell off the fitness wagon, hard and after watching super size me last night, i feel bad. i'm not eating fast food (especially mcdonald's) any more. i swear. i mean, i know i said the same thing after reading fast food nation, but i mean it this time.
::gives most sincere look possible::
okay, don't beat me if i rescind on this, but 22 years of mcd's brainwashing is hard to conquer.

happy new year's folks.

2004-12-31T16:11:00.000-05:00

i've been in a mood, but alas, i can part with my stinky mood to impart a little holiday cheer. i'm gonna probably be too drunk later to say this, so:
happy new year! :D

eh

2004-12-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

i have plenty of stuff in draft mode ready to be posted (after some tweakage) and plenty of time right now to do it (work's running somewhat slow today), but i really don't feel like posting right now.

i think i'm going thru a post-christmas, over-worked funk. i'll try and post tomorrow.

friday random tenfourteen

2004-12-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

stole the idea from feministe, who i think stole it from someone else.

1. graduation day, kanye west
2. i get lonely, janet jackson
3. by the way, red hot chili peppers
4. interlude: twisted elegance, janet jackson
5. the nutcracker, op. 71 no. 11: clara and prince charming
6. say you will, brandy
7. confessions part ii remix, usher
8. 40 ft. franz ferdinand
9. since you've been gone (baby baby sweet baby), aretha franklin
10. you're all i need to get by, aretha franklin
11. rain, janet jackson
12. higher, creed
13. 4 leaf clover erykah badu
14. don't pass me by, the beatles

can i just say that i'm mad that of my "random" selection:
21% of the songs are interludes (graduation day, twisted elegance, rain), one-third of which are janet songs
21% of the songs are janet songs
14% are aretha franklin songs (since you've been gone, you're all i need to get by -- which are played back to back, by the way)
and one of the songs i actually hate (confessions part ii remix -- the rat-looking bastard jermaine dupri gets on my effin' nerves.)

i'll probably make another post today, but just in case i don't, merry christmas y'all. i'm flying home tonight, where there's only dial-up, so i'll be back monday.

santa, the man, the myth

2004-12-21T21:41:00.000-05:00

here's my in-depth interview with santa (via aim). he doesn't answer a lot of questions, but that evasiveness reveals almost as much as answered questions would.
post-interview comments are in italics.

Evrybodylvslola: hi santa
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! :-D Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
Evrybodylvslola: nice! (gotta put the old man at ease.)
SantaClaus: Outstanding! I'm very happy to hear that! O:-) Everyone on my Good List gets a special gift here on Dec. 22! Now, type menu to enjoy the fun and games the elves have here on AIM for you.
Evrybodylvslola: how's mrs. claus?
SantaClaus: How, what? I'm an old(ish) man. ;-)
Evrybodylvslola: how is mrs. claus?
SantaClaus: Wonderfull! That's very kind of you to ask. Have you tried some of her holiday recipes yet?
Evrybodylvslola: no
SantaClaus: Help spread holiday cheer with some of these great recipes:
AOL Food
Evrybodylvslola: i don't want to bake.
SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!
Evrybodylvslola: i am in the christmas spirit
SantaClaus: The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of wonder, of youth, of care and of giving that binds all of us.
Evrybodylvslola: that's nice
SantaClaus: Wonderful!
Evrybodylvslola: how is rudolph?
SantaClaus:
Rudolph's nose stopped blinking but it was because of his cold. He's all better now and roaring to go! Donner, Blitzen and the whole gang are chomping at the bit to see everyone.
:-)
Evrybodylvslola: how are you able to get to every house in one night?
SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?
Evrybodylvslola: it doesn't.
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
Evrybodylvslola: i don't want to.
SantaClaus: Well, we won't get very far with this conversation then will we?
Evrybodylvslola: why are you trying to direct me to aol products?
SantaClaus:
You're full of mischief.
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: are you aol's bitch?
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Evrybodylvslola: i was just asking a question. dang santa.
SantaClaus:
That's why the elves and I are here!
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: well then, answer my question.
SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.
Evrybodylvslola: i don't want to sing!
SantaClaus:
Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.
:-)
Evrybodylvslola: who's your favorite reindeer? (change topics, change the pace.)
SantaClaus: I have lots of favorite things, but I need a little more information. Favorite, what?
Evrybodylvslola: reindeer!
SantaClaus: Oh, I cannot pick a favorite.
Evrybodylvslola: oh you lie. (gotta call him on his bs.)
SantaClaus:
Yes, way.
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: that doesn't make sense.
SantaClaus:
Oh, I cannot pick a favorite.
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: do you have kids? (when you hit a dead end, go to another hard-hitting question.)
SantaClaus:
Well, I think of every child as part of my family.
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: did you and mrs. claus have infertility problems?
SantaClaus: Pardon me?
Evrybodylvslola: infertility problems? are you shooting blanks?
SantaClaus:
My goodness! Get serious.
:-D
Evrybodylvslola: i am serious!
SantaClaus: Mm hm, now we are getting somewhere.
Evrybodylvslola: um, no we're not...
SantaClaus: No?
Evrybodylvslola: no.
SantaClaus: O.K. then. Well, have a merry Christmas in any case.
Evrybodylvslola: well, thank you.
SantaClaus: Anytime. That's what I am here for. Ho Ho Ho!
Evrybodylvslola: have you ever used drugs?
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
Evrybodylvslola: yeah...
SantaClaus: Have you donated your time or money to anyone who is really in need this year?
Evrybodylvslola: yes..
SantaClaus: Excellent! That makes me so happy! Just wanted to be sure you were on it! Type menu now to get back to the fun and games.
Evrybodylvslola: now don't avoid the questions. have you ever used drugs?
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
Evrybodylvslola: well, i guess this convo's over.
SantaClaus: Without a doubt?
Evrybodylvslola: um, unless you will answer some hard-hitting questions.
SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that. ;-)
Evrybodylvslola: will you answer my questions?
SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.
Evrybodylvslola: you can't trick me santa..
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
Evrybodylvslola: have you ever been unfaithful to mrs. claus?
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. ;-) Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Evrybodylvslola: well, obviously you're not gonna answer my questions. so i'll leave.
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Evrybodylvslola: have you had sex with someone other than your wife?
SantaClaus: I can't talk about that with you. Elves are here.
Evrybodylvslola: so elves stay like children?
SantaClaus: I've got all I can handle.
Evrybodylvslola: sometimes your responses don't make sense. are you high?
SantaClaus: Well I speak every language and coordinate the largest supply chain on Earth. So I think that's a stretch.
Evrybodylvslola: that'd be even more reason for you to be high, all of that stress. how do you deal with stress? how do you blow off steam?
SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?
Evrybodylvslola: how do you deal with stress?
SantaClaus: Well what do you think?
Evrybodylvslola: i don't know. that's why i'm asking you.
SantaClaus:
If you start spreading the Christmas spirit, it will be come obvious.
;-)
Evrybodylvslola: whatever man. you're talking nonsense.
SantaClaus: What, indeed!
Evrybodylvslola: bye santa.
SantaClaus: Merry, merry Christmas to you! Good bye.

bloggity blog blog

2004-12-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

HIlarious post on a blog called scamboogah.
here's a taste:

From The Desk Of Donald Rumsfeld

Dear Sir or Madam,

It is with a fair to medium amount of regret that I have to take the time out of my busy schedule to inform you of the useless condition of 'terminated' that your son/daughter has recently attained. It must be just awful to lose a loved one so suddenly, but if I were poor like you and had no other options than to send my kids off to war or to send them to work at WalMart, I'd probably be used to disappointment by now.

he also seems to share my distaste for michelle malkin. heee.

yes, i'm blogging like crazy today. hush up.

2004-12-21T17:17:00.000-05:00

found this enlightening post from chepooka's blog, which i got to thanks to aroundthewaygirl's blog (this girl is fuuuuunnny), which i got from sid's blog. gotta put these folks in my blog list and get rid of some others (negro, please where'd you go?!).

a roundabout way of referring?
maybe.

do i care?
no. gotta give credit where credit's due. and besides, we had cake and champagne today at work and i must say i'm embarassingly a little loopy right now. i'm discreet tho. i stumble and giggle when i'm sober, so these folks wouldn't be able to spot a little slight tipsiness in me...

yes, i am a dork.

2004-12-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

maryann = excited.
why, you may ask?

i just pre-ordered harry potter #6.

never mind it's not coming out until july 16, 2005....

i'm still excited tho.

tuesday morning

2004-12-21T11:05:00.000-05:00

i got most of the gifts that i needed to absolutely indubitably have in before christmas sent today.. haven't quite gotten aalll of my presents, but i can safely say that i am 92% done with everything.
tonight's goal: round 1 of cookie bakeage. instead of finding a gift for those special co-workers, i figured i'd regale them all with suagr and fat-laden goodies. i'm shooting for delivery tomorrow (and monday for my boss boss and his secretary, since they're out this week), but we'll see how it goes.
went to cpk for the 2nd time in 4 days and got the same thing i got four days, ago, chicken garlic pizza. absolutely loved it and i don't care that i may have a cpk problem.
"hi. my name is maryann and i'm a pizza-holic."
"hi maryann!"

***
anyhoo, excited about going home for christmas, but also slightly nervous about getting there on time. debating between driving and a taxi and leaning toward driving, since i don't know exactly when i'll be getting out on friday. my mom then called me today and asked me if i could bake a cake when i come in friday... i of course said yes, but does she realize that i'm going to be coming in friday night from WORKING ALL DAY and i'll probably be dead ass tired?
i gets no sympathy.

monday math lesson

2004-12-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

had to go take the woman (aka my boo) to the airport this morning before work. translated into all sorts of stress-inducing factors/events:

1. snow = snow on the roads = accidents (luckily all had cleared by the time we got to wherever accidents were)
2. no wiper fluid = caked on salt and muck on the windshield that wouldn't come off, leaving a haze on my windshield (hard to see when you're driving east and the sun is beaming onto the glass)
3. woman's flight at 11:10 = much rushage, including stress of stupid drivers and reasons 1 & 2
4. woman forgets which airport she's flying out of while i'm driving down the LIE and left the itinerary in the back of the car = make the turn to jfk, finally able to pull over and find out she's actually flying out of laguardia = have to trun around and finagle
5. reasons 1, 2, 3, 4 = late for work, AGAIN

all i want to do now is go home and nap, but alas, i have to be a grown up and work so that i can pay for all the gifts, etc. that i bought this weekend... grrr.

on another front, my bottom left wisdom tooth has decided to start a turf war with its neighboring teeth, resulting in much pain for me. i need to go to the dentist, but i'm not gonna go to 'till next week. if i go now, they're probably gonna tell me i need to get my wisdom teeth out NOW. i have no time for that kind of mess until the new year. yaaaaay avoidance!

one little christmas tree

2004-12-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

i decorated my tree yesterday. it's definitely down-scale from the family tree, but it's definitely an impressive "my first christmas tree."

two looks:

my tree!!

the artsy look (aka without flash)

happy chrismahanakwanzaaka folks! :D
(and i got almost allll of my christmas shopping last night and today! whoooo hooo)

avoiding painful death

2004-12-17T15:00:00.000-05:00

so, i'm sitting at work, trying to avoid doing work, but i didn't feel like posting on the things i've been meaning to post (hair dresser rantage, women and minorities in the media) b/c i'm feeling too lazy. so during my usual trolling of my favorite blogs, i came upon this. and since i was commanded to repeat my own version on my own blog or risk a painful death, here it is:

Three names you go by:
1. m
2. mj
3. phareezy (that's my professional name...sike!:D)

Three screen names you have:
1. evrybodylvslola
2. prplegyrl (old, old, aol name that i never use now)
3. missjames (do email prefixes count?)

Three things you like about yourself :
1. my intelligence
2. my goofiness
3. my booty (i must say that i do have quite a spectacular ass)

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. my tendency to procrastinate (see previous entry)
2. my shyness
3. my compulsion to please others

Three parts of your heritage:
1. black
2. white (given the number of light-complected people in my family -- myself included -- there's gotta be some white folks in the wood pile. in fact most of my family is so light that i didn't know i was light-skinned until i went to high school. (i'm the color of a cup of cafe au lait))
3. spanish? (if i remember correctly from my uncle's genealogical pursuits, way back when, we had roots in spain. don't ask me where that came from.)

Three things that scare you:
1. failure. personal, professional, you name it. it's been driving me since i was 12.
2. roaches. most bugs are ok -- i don't love bugs, but i can handle most. but the thought of creepy bugs that eat anything, can survive almost anything and multiply like rabbits just creep me the fuck out.
3. dependence. i don't like having to depend on people (i was raised by my mother to be very independent), which can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. computer w/ internet access -- i'm an e-mail/blog/news freak. i check my email(s)every 20 minutes, it seems, when i'm at work.
2. a cup of ice and a bottle of coke (with alarmingly increasing regularity). i was raised in a pepsi household. when did this happen?! but it is soooo good.
3. my ipod. before a week ago when haiku fucked up my ear buds -- she'd been eyeing them like a jealous older sister since i brought the baby home

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. black-rimmed glasses with tape on the end. i sat on them this week and haven't gotten to the eyeglass place. yes. i'm a fat ass. and sporting the nerdy look now.
2. my newsday badge. essential to get into and walk around my place of employment. i look like i'm high on my badge photo, but whatever.
3. light blue socks. they don't match what i'm wearing AT ALL, but i run out of good socks quickly. it was at the top of my christmas list to my mom!

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:
1. coldplay, the perennial favorite, has been making a comeback; i've been listening to them nonstop in my car for the last two weeks.
2. bjork
3. mos def (more of the old school stuff than the recent stuff, altho that's cool too)

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. lord help me, but snoop dogg, "drop it like it's hot"
2. coldplay, "the scientist" -- a beautiful song the video is so sad!
3. fiona apple -- "extraordinary machine" (it's a leaked track from her unreleased, seemingly never to be released album)

Three new things you want to do in the next 12 months:
1. go on vacation somewhere i haven't been before.
2. start investing.
3. finish the stitch n bitch book/become adept in all knitting techniques

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. sense of humor
2. attraction (gotta have that spark!)
3. space -- being an only child, i've gotta have me time.

Two truths and a lie:
1. i have 3 tattoos.
2. i was 6 when i got sick for the first time.
3. i had braces for 3 years.

Three physical things about the ~~opposite~~same sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes. gotta have pretty eyes.
2. booty... as i have a fine ass, i love a nice booty.
3. neck.. i was a vampire in a past life.

Three things you just can't do:
1. be ordered/organized
2. be patient.
3. do anything science-related (blecch)

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. knitting
(i sound like a ball of fun, huh?)

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. leave work.
2. get all my christmas stuff done (shopping/wrapping/shipping)
3. have a niice margarita
4. the horizontal hokey pokey ;D

Three careers you're considering:
1. women's studies professor/author/guru
2. media mogul (focused on print media)
3. lottery winner

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. egypt
2. france
3. japan
4. brazil

Three kids names:
1. ibis
2. michael
3. dora

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. write a book
2. have a child
3. get married and grow old with my partner (and have all the responsibilities and benefits that come with it)

~~Four~~Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
1. sheryl
2. naeemah
3. emerald
4. urs (even tho she hasn't even written 1 entry in her blog yet!!)

blast it.

2004-12-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

it seems that i waited too long to do my online shopping.

i was livin it up on amazon; i got almost alll of my christmas shopping done, and then i realized that half the stuff i bought (non-amazon stuff) wouldn't be guaranteed to get there before the 24th. which is noo good, since i have to mail almost all of my gifts this year.

blast it.

so now it seems i'm gonna have to bear the rush of the crowds and go to the malls to get my gifts. boo.

pray for me.

weekend wrap up

2004-12-12T22:11:00.000-05:00

i just took this quiz that was up on sid's blog, which she got from saffron:

You are a double espresso at three AM.

You are the tortured, nail-biting essence of
coffee. You see visions. You could change the
world if only you were up at the same time as
everyone else. You have created a programming
language that throws errors if the code is not
written in iambic pentameter, and you are
infuriated by the typos in the new edition of
Ulysses. You practice sarcasm as a
form of tantric sex, and your cats have
doctorates. You believe in virgin sacrifice in
a good cause.

What kind of coffee are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

in other news, the mominator came up this weekend, with my cousin. i had such big plans, we would go shopping, paint nyc red and cook a fabulous dinner which we would enjoy with my friends and everyone would applaud my culinary prowess.

weeeelll, it didn't quite work out that way.

the shopping turned out to be fantastic. thanks to my levely newspaper job, we found out some cool out-of-the-way places that offered great deals and my mom got allll of her christmas shopping in two days. it was great.
as for painting nyc red? well, we missed the lirr train looking for a parking spaced and had to wait 30 minutes in the cold to catch the next train. we got to the city (it was my cousin's first time in the city, so we had to do it up) went to rockefeller center, happened upon the saks fifth avenue snowflake show (which was very, very cool), took a picture of my cousin in front of nbc, and caught a cab to go catch whoopi's show on broadway. found the theatre, was an hour ahead of time (more for my mom's benefit, who happens to be a worry wart) and breezed into the lobby to get tickets.
the couple ahead of me was talking about a cancelled show. when they got to the window, the woman huffed, "so, what can we do?" i figured they were trying to get tickets to tonight's show b/c a previous show was cancelled. they took care of their affairs, and went on their way. i then went to the ticket man and gave him my name. he then handed me a receipt and said, "it's already beeen charged to your account."
...why did it take me until we got outside (as i wondered why i only had a receipt and no tickets) to realize that our show was cancelled?!
stankin whoopi.
my mom and cousin drove alllll the way up here from virginia to see whoopi, and she stood them up.
stankin whoopi.

at any rate, we wandered around times square (my cousin took tons of pictures), we ended up eating at ollie's (after an ominous looking man at carmine's said they were only taking people who had reservations), where my cousin and i got sloshed while my mom shook her head. my mom got swindled into buying a diantetics book, and a good time was had by all.

sunday, my mom bought me groceries and christmas stuff for my house (incl. lights and a tree), and i nearly burned down my balcony grilling salmon (but it turned out good...) and she finished off her christmas shopping.

the lesson of this weekend?
one absent whoopi don't stop no show.

so take that whoopi!!

...and another one

2004-12-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

as usual, i write frantically for 2 days, then i'm essentially gone for a week. bear with me, folks. i'm going thru my usual blog slump; as i've said before, this is my third blog; the other two eventually died b/c i never recovered from the slump i'm now experiencing.
at any rate, it's time for a rousing round of maryann ramblage, which is chock full of news, links and rantage.
....and off we go:

politics 'n stuff
one more reason to move to canada. it just irritates me that our country goes all up in arms to fiercely "protect" marriage, when our neighbors to the north unanimously decide that gay people should be able to officially commit, too. of course, they also were against the farce in iraq too. ::sigh::

i must say that i'm tired of reading about blue and red states. nonetheless, i was at this cute cafe in d.c. this weekend that my girlfriend introduced me to, which while having a bangin! chai, cool mugs and wonderfully nice people (this guy moved to another singleton's table so my boo and i could sit together), had an interesting essay/graphic posted about the reality of the red v. blue map.
it argues that the traditional map makes it seem like our country is a "red" country, when in reality, if shown proportionally, it is actually split in half. an enlightening (and less disheartening) read, imho.

and speaking of political discourse (ok, i hadn't been speaking of it, but this is, damnit), i must reiterate that i am in awe of feministe and sid .. they are constantly producing blogs that have a great mix of funny real-life experiences (a la feministe's paintshop drawings of her sleeping arrangements and sid's proclaimed love for turkey) and still wage intelligent, well-thought-out arguments on politics, etc.). i figure if i gush enough about them, i'll get constant shout outs from the two of them and somehow, by being remotely associated with them, some of their excess intelligence will rub off on me.
at any rate, go read their blogs if you haven't already. their choice.

on the topic of readable blogs, i was reading sid's comment on right bloggers, and her rec of ambra's blog. while i did at one point love her blog, the rift/pain has not healed; since the election, i seem to have gotten more sensitive and have become less able to take the viewpoints of people on the right, no matter how well-written blogs like ambra's are. i respect her (and others') right to their opinions, but i guess i'm just tired of hearing people say that people like me are contrary to god's natural design, that women don't have a right to choose what happens to their own body, and that generally liberals are loose, freewheeling people that will lead to the destruction of our country.
i know that some of these are extreme arguments, and i know that ambra actually sets her beliefs in rational arguments, i just can't read anything like that right now.

other news
a touching story about a gorilla wake at an illinois zoo. a beautifully sad look at the care these gorillas took to pay respects to one of their own.
and in the too dumb to be real category, the story of a man who thought he could get away from the scene of a crime on a lawnmower.

miscellaneous
i'm overdue to bitch about salons and the difficulty black women face for hair diddage. i'll do that tomorrow.

i'm also overdue on getting together my book and christmas gifts. i need to get on the on, as l-ron says.

a typical day at work

2004-12-07T15:42:00.000-05:00

i was sitting at my desk, looking up alternate words for the word problem when i stumbled upon this:

Entry: problem drinker
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: alcoholic
Synonyms: barfly, chronic alcoholic, chronic drunk, dipsomaniac, drunkard, hard drinker, heavy drinker, hooch hound, lush, pathological drinker, soak
Source: Roget's New Millennium Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright 2004 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

note to self: keep list away from mom, as she will have myriad new names to call me.*

*all in jest, of course. my mom is actually very supportive and loving.

and it never ends

2004-12-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

that damn gwen stefani cd is pretty damn catchy.

i have another song stuck in my head today, which is battling with this song for dominence in my brain right now.

i know you can't really tell the songs' quality by the lyrics, but just listen to them twice, and you'll be hooked. gwennie sure knows how to make a frothy catchy dance cd that doesn't make you roll your eyes every 2 minutes.

....can we also talk about andre3000's alter ego, johnny vulture?

only in a copy editing meeting ...

2004-12-02T13:48:00.000-05:00

...will someone ask what is the correct style (aka the correct form to be printed in the newspaper) for old dirty bastard.

i don't like any other synonyms for random.

2004-12-01T15:09:00.000-05:00

1. can't get the chorus of this song out of my head.
2. checked out rolling stone's 500 greatest songs of all time. they may have not liked eminem when he first came out, but they are sooo on his jock now. two of his songs are in the top 500 of all time and are the most recent songs in the countdown. i know that a lot of recent songs are a whole lot of dreck, but there's some better stuff out there than em. i'm not a hater, i like most of his music, but c'mon. "stan" and "lose yourself" are two of the best songs ever? no jay-a on the list? no run-dmc? no mos def? sheesh. further proof that rolling stone has something going on with eminem: they gave stankin encore (and i do mean stankin, excluding "mosh") four stars! that almost pisses me off more than hearing rock stations play eminem.
3. going through another one of my "i miss my homies" phase. "homies" include not only my close friends, but also my family. i'm horrible about calling people on the regular, so i feel hypocritical calling and yelling to my friends, "why haven't you called me??!"
4. dr. b, who are you? i see you left a comment on one of my posts and i wanted to return the favor, but you have a private profile. yoo hoo... who are you, mystery poster?
5. i'm thinking of joining a knitting group.
6. sid, you make me laugh. i about died when i read your whole thing about making up holidays to eat meat, especially when you said:
"Oh, it's be kind to your news delivery person day! Break out the rack of lamb!"
lol. you are too much girl.
7. my fellow metpro homie has a blog now! yaaay
8. as evidenced by this blog entry, i can't stop slacking. i just can't.
9. a festivus for the rest of us! tee hee.
10. can anyone tell me how to do the "more" feature on my posts (you know, where it hides part of your post and you click the "more" link to reveal the rest of it?)?

why cunt you say that?

2004-11-24T17:17:00.000-05:00

an interesting emergency at the chicago tribune a few weeks ago:

CHICAGO (AP) - A preprinted section was pulled from Wednesday's Chicago Tribune because it contained an article discussing the use of a vulgar slang term in referring to women, according to the newspaper.
The article, under the headline "You c-nt say that," was on the front page of a weekly section called WomanNews.

(read here for the sun-times' more in-depth story, with a hi-larious account of editors and company employees physically pulling the papers from the presses...)

i first heard about it from one of my bosses, and was shocked -- i thought they'd actually printed the word(cunt is the offensive word, for those daft ones still in the dark :D). but after reading that CUNT was never printed, that the reporter used words that rhymed with CUNT, i thought differently (see, i can print the word! :D).

i think the story idea was a good one; it's a shame that the higher ups believed that the content of the story was "inappropriate" for their readers. the case can be made that midwestern sensibilities are more delicate than those of northeasterners and west coasters(i have a "northeast" mindset as far as this is concerned, even tho i'm a southerner), metropolitan area or not, but i still don't see a problem with the story, as long as the actual word isn't printed. you see references to "the n-word" and other so-called vulgar words referred to in print; if the story was well written, why not print a story on an interesting subject IN THE WOMEN'S PAGES, which is for the group it most directly affects?

of course, the people in trouble, the two main eds for the trib's features section, were black. how come black folks are almost always in the center or somewhere near any kind of newspaper scandal these days? (and they wonder why there's so few people of color in the news industry...)

wake up!!

2004-11-23T11:45:00.000-05:00

i'm soooo tired this morning.

i couldn't get to sleep until 2 this morning, and i got up at 7:30 so you could go grocery shopping for dinner thursday before i had to go to work and everyone else got all the good stuff.

i'm very happy i was productive, but alas, i'm soooo sleepy. i used to be able to do jags of 5-hour sleep no problem, but now....

on a happy note, i dragged myself to the gym last night and di 45 minutes of aerobic walking, 15 minutes more than i usually do. after last week's dance-and-sweat fest, i figured i needed to up my other routines so i could keep up with my dance aerobics class. excited about class tonight ... and i pick up my boo early tomorrow morning! woo hoo! :)

i meant to put up a post last night, but i was a lazy ass. so now, i'm going to pile on the gargantuan mass of links and thoughts that i have left over from the weekend:

art adventures: i went to the moma saturday and waited in the rain for about an hour with a whole bunch of other folks just to get in. notwithstanding the fact that it was free (you know that's the only way they got me to stand in line), it was definitely worth it. it was so absolutely cool to be able to see images i had seen in books on the actual campus it was painted on ... from jackson pollock's enormous one (number 31, 1950) to salvador dali's amazing persistence of memory (i didn't know it was so small! to be so small and have such intricate detail is ... amazing!) to gustav klimt's gorgeous hope, i was in awe. after looking at the highlights online, i realize i missed one of frida kahlo's paintings... must track it down when i return saturday with urs.

cholesterol aftermath: i've chilled on the bloodwork freakage. however, now i've been checking the labels on food everywhere, especially in my cupboard. i've bought some no cholesterol spread (i miss real butter already!), and i'm crossing my fingers that it will actually taste good. i'll keep you updated on my healthy eating trials and tribulations.

the return of alias! i got soooo hyped sunday night when i saw a promo for alias...i can't wait until january when alias comes back on, even tho it's going to be airing on wednesday nights now. it's coming on after lost, which i've now come to realize is probably a better slot for it than to take back it's original slot that desperate housewives now holds. i can't wait unrtil january. ::crosses fingers that i get the 1 & 2 season dvds for christmas::

....aannnd..great links! i've been collecting a list of stuff i thought was read worthy, so if you're bored and have nothing to do (or even if you aren't and have stuff to do), take a gander:
-- i must first shout out to my two favorite regular bloggers (yes, that's a hint to you, naeemah!), sid and feministe, sid for eloquently yet passionately waging a war of words with "fucking conservatives" (even tho one of them turned out not to be and actually seemed like a nice guy) and feministe for not taking a blog haitus like she originally said she was. and on....

-- an insightful essay (that i nabbed from feministe's blog) on being raised in the church and gradually becoming disillusioned; a familiar story, with a different take.

-- my girl was in the new york times, talking about being from jamaica and living in new york (ok, she's not my girl, but she's kick ass)

-- a well-written yet sad column about how much poverty that still exists in america (kinda ties in with sid's mini-treatise on the "welfare state")

-- alas a blog raises interesting questions about whether some political cartoons about condoleeza rice are racist

-- and another great blog i just ran into.

alright, that's it... i'm gonna actually go do work now. pieces! :D

freaked

2004-11-18T19:15:00.000-05:00

i went and got my physical last wednesday, the first i one i've had for at least 8 years. it went along routine, doc said it was good that i was starting to exercise, given my family's medical history (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes...anything other than cancer and my family prolly has it), took my blood and an EKG, and i was on my way.

well, i got back the results of my blood test today. nothing like a cholesterol count of 240 to bring a good mood to a screeching halt.

i'm kind of not surprised, but i'm still freaked out. as a whole, i really don't eat that much stuff high in cholesterol. i have been wilding out on the eggs, butter and bacon lately, so i know i'll cut that out, but will that and exercise for 30 minutes every day really lower my cholesterol? i'm also not exactly stoked at the idea of going back to margarine from real butter and actually counting calories and saturated fats and what not ...

but i guess those things are minor compared to not having a heart attack at 30.

top 5 random thoughts (in no particular order)

2004-11-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

in typical maryann fashion, i have contsructed a random post for today. enjoy:

1. i detest the "wheeze laugh." it's typically employed by old men, altho middle aged men have been witnessed using it as well. it doesn't sound like a laugh -- it sounds like someone is gasping for their last breath -- and the only way you can tell someone isn't dying is by looking over and seeing the look of joy on their facem instead of panic. and even then, it's still iffy.

2. another annoyance: people playing with outdoor equipment (i.e. basketballs, kickballs, etc.) inside (excluding a gym or other large space), especially at WORK. there's one particular person at my job who LOVES to dribble her ball at work, presumably when she's bored or just wants to annoy the hell out of others. i want to snatch it from her and put her in time out. no recess for her.

3. i ache. i went to the dance aerobics class at my gym last night, and homeboy wore.me.out. tho i missed gilmore girls for this class and am popping tylenol today, it was well worth it. we danced nonstop for 45 minutes, did ab work for 10, and then did a cool down. it was sooooo much fun, and i can't wait to go back on tuesday. gooooo dance aerobics! :)

4. i want gwen stefani's cd. i bought gwen's single off iTunes yesterday (along with the linkin park/jay-z mashup, which is also groovy) after seeing her kick-ass surreal video on MTV hits. i downloaded the video off morpehus, but i figured that corporate types won't hunt me down for a video you can't buy anyway. i had that song on repeat on my ipod last nite as i went to sleep and i've had the line "take a chance you stupid ho" stuck in my head alll day. niiice. :)

5. look at the ku's new outfit. i've been shamelessly plugging my cat's embarassment in every outlet i have, because, well, it's funny. it makes me laugh every time *i* see it. so go. laugh.

::sigh::

2004-11-16T14:29:00.000-05:00

good ol' Texas and their fry 'em and ask questions later policy.

so... i'm starting the scarf over.

2004-11-16T01:03:00.000-05:00

if you've been paying attention, (or if you scroll back to the last entry), you'll notice that the second block of brown on my scarf was starting to taper. after taking the brown block apart, i was unable to fix my problem, as i realized my stitches were wrong. so, i decided to start over.

so what to do with the quarter of a scarf i already made?

it became a poncho for haiku, my kitty, the ku-ster!

here's a brief photo essay on the ku's adventures with her cat poncho. enjoy:

attempt number 1.

attempt number 2 (aka artsy model shot).

yay! the cat poncho is successfully on!

haiku refuses to be a slave to fashion and tries to take off the poncho.

and the ku strips.

i know i'm probably going to go to hell for taking advantage of my cat like this. but hey, my mom made me wear knee socks when i was little, and i hated knee socks. and corduroy. so the cat poncho will be haiku's knee socks.

fruits of my weekend's efforts

2004-11-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

lookee here!

a little more than a quarter of a way through my first scarf! i just hadto show it off. :)

i'll holla later.

randomness

2004-11-12T18:30:00.000-05:00

ranodmness for the last half hour of work:

1. an amazing article about one of the "moral voters" in ohio. very creepy to see into a family that really lives blinded by all things "faithful." the husband has had to take up a second job since bush was in office and still makes at least $15,000 less than he used to, but still believes in bush. they pray over *everything,* including when their toddler bumps his head, and despite a smaller income, they have three children and are thinking about having more. they also don't believe in abortion (obviously) and the wife, amongst homeschooling their five year-old and taking care of a toddler and an infant, makes sure she makes the house presentable for her husband when she comes home. i hate to judge, but their home sounds like bizarro world. and this is indicative of the folks that voted for bush.
2. the article that referred me to the post article; a look into the "moral battle" between the "reds" and the "blues" and how the reds are only truly about the morals until they won. in reality, they're more hypocritical than most.
3. can't wait to get home and knit.
4. i heart feministe. i embarassingly gushed in a comment on her blog today about knitting, but i just loooove her website. a lot of times she echoes what i'm thinking at that moment, but says it more articulately than i feel i ever could. a deliciously refreshing open-minded superwoman (she's in her early 20s, is a single mom, *and* is getting her degree!). put her on your bloglist, now. :)

productivity is me

2004-11-07T13:38:00.000-05:00

had a verrry productive day yesterday.
i went to big lots (which is now my favorite store -- big lots is heaven for people like me who were raised in the church of cheap) and went crazy. i bought a handheld chopper and blender, a broom, 5 packages of zatarain's rice and a shredder, all for $25!
high on my bargain spree, i exited big lots and noticed the bright shiny gym next door. on a whim, i went in, toured the place, got prices and left.
five minutes later, i went back in and signed up for a monthly gym membership. i know the guy prolly thought i was schizo or something. :) i'm now soooo excited! i've already put together my schedule of classes for the week ... i'm gonna be a spinning, aerobics-doing, yoga-loving fiend. it's right down the street, and everything there is brand new ... if i hadn't mentioned before, i'm excited.
i then went home, made some bomb-ass black bean soup, cleaned my house, did laundry aaaaaand baked a cake.

after the productivity of yesterday, i'm gonna rest on my freakin laurels today. i maayy go to the grocery store and get a steak to grill for dinner (by the way, if you haven't noticed by the obvious display of spendage, i've sooooo fallen off the frugal horse), but other than cooking today, i'm not doing a damn thing today. :)

...and i'm still not going to think about the idiot. i'm just gonna live in ignorance for now. my poor heart can't take much more than that right now.

change of address

2004-11-05T16:05:00.000-05:00

i'm seriously thinking about moving to london. they may not know what it is to put ice in your drinks, but they tell it like it is:
read this.

and a sobering image from feministe.

get it girl!

2004-11-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

and siddity puts in her two cents. yay for the bush idiots firing squad.

sound advice

2004-11-03T16:45:00.000-05:00

and alas saves the day. read today's entry. i raised my spirits a little. the main argument alas, a blog wages is that while this bush thing sucks and is probably due to suck some more in the future, we need to stop thinking that favorable elections will spark change and realize that change will spark favorable elections. we need to focus on creating "left" versions of "right" institutions like fox news and heritage foundation that push our ideals and make them platable to the "average american" (aka those of the south and the midwest).

and as i type this, i realize that this speaks directly to what my mom was talking about this morning; that we have to get out and help others understand what we believe in their terms.

perhaps i'll elaborate more later. i'm still at work (shh!).

more stuff

2004-11-03T13:23:00.000-05:00

i originally told myself that i was going on a news blackout until all this election stuff died down -- i just can't take our political reality right now -- but after realizing that working at a newspaper makes that kind of hard, i've rescinded that orignal idea.

in that vein, an article from feministe's blog. it's from the bbc about who voted and why. it's interesting and scary and yet not completely depressing. this year we had the highest turnout in 30 years; yet 2/3 of the country remain polarized against each other. i know i'm one of them.

i say it's time for revolution.

rant on the day after

2004-11-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

the next four years are gonna suck ... bush is gonna put his minions in the supreme court, women's reproductive rights are gonna be repealed, christianity is gonna become the state religion, we are going to go around and fuel the muslim extremists as we play imperialist to the world, gays and lesbians are gonna become (or remain, rather) secondary citizens and our country is gonna go down the toilet.
i have no words this morning ... i actually cried this morning, the future looks so bleak. i just don't understand what else we could have done to get that man out of office... i have such anger towards those narrow minded idiots in the midwest and the south; like chuck palahniuk writes in "fight club," i want to destroy something beautiful, i'm so angry. it wasn't a failure to vote, it was just that the we are in the minority.
it's going to be so hard for us in the next few years.
mom says that it is going to be hard, but we have to fight. i hope i can channel this anger to do that.

celibacy day

2004-11-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

if you don't know, read this and this and read this:

if you haven't already gone or sent out your absentee ballot, go out and vote today.

it's sooo serious. i'm not gonna bite off sid and do any subliminal messages (altho that's a fine idea). i have the feeling that of the people that read this blog, i'm preaching to the choir. nonetheless, if any "undecidededs" do happen upon my little side of the universe, lemme make the choice easy for you:
go ahead and pull that lever/punch that chad/touch that screen for kerry. *especially* if you're a woman. *especially* if you're a minority. *especially if you're gay. *especially* if you're anything other than the top 10 percent of income.

it's serious guys.

dude, i was talking to my mom this morning and she said that never in her life did she think she'd go to the polls one day and have police patrolling the polls. it's sooo serious. do you see where we are? we have denegrated to the point that we have to have people patrol the polls to make sure that our democratic process goes through?
it immediately made me think of a lyric/line in the ani difranco song/poem, "self evident":
cuz take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
i mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks
and boy did he ever

and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 george w. bush is not president
#2 america is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me

the fact that we have so many issues with registration and voter disenfranchisement (sp? is that a real word) just makes me think that our country is acountry of contradictions; we are supposedly the richest country in the world, but we still have people struggling to have healthcare, food on the table and we can't even get through an election these days without trouble.

the whole song is the shit. in tribute to election day i may post an mp3 later, if i figure out how to do that.

i just hope that after today, the whole thing is over.

beyond election mess,
i went and saw i heart huckabees last night. very very cool movie. an actual comedy on existentialism! the image of caterine vauban following the existential detectives following albert markovski was soooo funny.
i felt smart watching that movie, as they were weaving all these concepts about existentialism into this madcap funny movie ... add that to the fact that these two women sitting in front of me walked out halfway through.
::dons snobby intellectual cap::
i guess it was too deep for them.
::takes off snobby cap::
heee. at any rate, it makes me want to read up on these concepts, but i have a feeling i'd zone out after an hour. i'll just wait till this movie comes out on dvd.

in the same sort of off-beat/indy movie vein, another wes anderson movie is coming out in december! and it has lots of the same folks from the royal tennenbaums -- bill murray, anjelica houston, the crooked-nosed brother of owen wilson -- i'm excited. :)

the bastards.

2004-10-28T13:10:00.000-04:00

just when i had finally achieved my dream, the apple bastards kick me when i'm down.

while my baby is sick and shipped off to the ipod doctors in california, apple reveals this.

yes, there are more important things in the world like world hunger and war, etc. but it's nice to have gadgets that make dealing with all that important stuff a little bit easier. and it's infuriating when i'm finally able to afford a little bit of that joy and they roll out something even cooler.

bastards.

and it *is* just as good as the other ipods, just ask the new york times.

onto other stuff:
works been kinda slow the past day or so (and today, since i'm writing this at 1 in the afternoon at work (shh! don't tell anyone!), so i've been exploring the folks on the various blog rings as well as around the 'net.
two cool places i've found so far:

sid has great taste (coldplay, amelie and the royal tennenbaums are all favs of hers, as are mine!)and a pretty good sense of humor.

crankcrunk is a music blog with a pretty good mix of ..erm, music.

more later.

tuesday night special

2004-10-26T22:28:00.000-04:00

i decided to take a break on the news updates and just riff on randomness.

1. i want a pretty new blog. i keep talking about how i'm gonna redo my blog, but i'm too lazy to figure out how to build my own blog, and i can't find any prefab blog that really fits me. if you've seen my blog since the beginning, you know i've changed my template a good 3, 4 times since i started.

2. i heart tv. it's been a minute since i've planned my evenings on my shows... now i'm enamored with gilmore girls, veronica mars, scrubs, southpark, lost, er, will and grace, america's next top model, life as we know it... dude, i'm becoming a couch potato. god help me in february when the l word and alias are back on ... oooh. can't wait until alias...

3. i'm ~~homesick.~~ i don't know what i am. i'm not quite homesick b/c homesick doesn't quite strike how i feel -- i miss my friends, my mom, my girlfriend, the general familiarity that comes with being in ...well, familiar places. the people here are cool, and i don't feel ~~homesick~~ all the time; it's just sometimes when i wish that all my friends and family lived on the same block as me so that we could all visit each other when we wanted and it wouldn't be that much trouble.
...actually, scratch that. not everybody. just a select few. like urs. and my mom. and naeemah. maybe keysha, if she keeps acting chill like she has. and emerald, kerry and sheryl(gotta keep the ku's aunt around. :D). everybody else, case by case basis.
thaaat's it. i'm about to open up my own gated community. maryann estates. and all new residents are by invitation only.

news roundup: sunday women's edition

2004-10-24T13:06:00.000-04:00

i had recently been thinking about how i had not focused much on feminist discourse lately, which made me sad. last semester, i was sooo fasicnated, devouring books like betty friedan's the feminine mystique and bell hooks'feminism is for everybody. and now, inundated with the tasks of going to work and figuring out how to be an adult, my passion for women's studies had kinda fell to the wayside.
and then, i come across this commentary in the new york times that talks about how such a seemingly innocuous campaign like the miss subways campaign that ran in new york's subways from 1941 to 1977 was really a subversively feminist campaign. a lovely little piece of writing that shows that feminism isn't what it has been subverted to represent in mainstream america. ask any woman on the street what their view of feminism is and they're sure to relay some picture of a butch lesbian yelling that women don't need men because women are better than men. instead, feminism is more about empowering women and making them feel that they could be more than just a housewife, or, as ani difranco says, a "pretty girl."

my other entry in the news roundup vault is a story that gave me hope. the story of a family made up of two daughters and two mommies. the girls, fathered through sperm donors, were raised in a loving two-parent home and seem pretty well adjusted. a beautiful story that makes me want to send a copy to all those bastards who say that homosexuality and same-sex marriages will ruin the fabric of the american family.

news roundup for friday

2004-10-22T11:22:00.000-04:00

hey folks. some more stories from the newsworld:
and hey -- i'm aware that many of these news sites require registration to see their articles. i know it's annoying, but it's fast and easy and free. and you don't have to get any of their newsletters and stuff if you don't want to. :)

now onto the news:
a new york times magazinearticle that gives some creepy insight into the workings within the bush white house. it's long, but it's worth it.

the column by bob herbert that directed me to the previous article, that talks about how out of touch bush is with real reality.

another column, this time by the lovely maureen o'dowd, which talks about how bush seriously sometimes thinks he's a mouthpiece for god.

do you see a pattern here? i realize that of the people who read this blog, i'm probably preaching to the choir, but given that election day is almost a week away, i'm getting more and more anxious. i must admit i've had a glimmer of hope that it all may not end up a disaster (after seeing that the kids voted for kerry), but it's nice sometimes to see well written, solidly backed-up evidence that the man that's sitting in the oval office (i will not say he's my president, because he's not) is not the best choice and is not doing good for this country.

::steps down from my soapbox::

onto other stuff:

i ran into this article about how young folks aren't the only ones detailing their cars -- some suburban folks are doing it to their minivans too.
the best quote in the article:

IN Atlanta, Pam Gould's 1996 Honda Odyssey also sports a hippie-chic look, with butterflies and a daisy chain down the sides, and the words "Feelin' Groovy" on the back. Reaction to the car has varied widely, she said. "The scariest was a 9-year-old child, who said, `Why did you do that? It's going to hurt the resale value.' "

dude, that's alternately funny and scary. how's some 9-year-old gonna walk up to your car and lecture you on resale value?
again, fuuuuny yet scarrry as hell.

a washington post article about some parents making a whole lotta mess about nothing. the principal at this high school in northern virginia has made the students sign a pledge. on the pledge's list: no drugs, no alcohol and no "freak dancing"
dude, apart from the hilarity of reading a post article that breaks down exactly what "freak dancing" is, i was disturbed by how the principal and parents were focusing on such a ridiculous aspect.
of course the students were upset and were circulating petitions about an affront to their "freedom of expression" (reminds me of my high school days -- we were always ready to circulate a petition about school policies we didn't like), but on a broader note, shouldn't parents be worried about more important things than "freak dancing"? i mean, i'm not a big fan of it myself, and kids can go crazy, but at the end of the day, it's just a dance.
instead of worrying about whether suzie's freaking johnny on the dance floor, perhaps they should be worried about what's going on behind the bleachers or wherever kids makeout, etc. these days. they need to worry about whether these kids quantify oral sex as sex or are using protection or a myriad of other issues.
"freak dancing" does not equal sex and not "freak dancing" doesn't mean that sex isn't going on. stupid parents barking up the wrong tree.
and you know it had to be a predominately white school district.

lastly, a story that mixes the issues of the previous article (teens and sex and the focus of the first three links: a newsday story about how abstinence-only sex ed groups have recieved a boost of support since bush took office, thanks to his support of such policies.
reading stuff like this pissed me off too, as anyone who accepts abstinence-only sex ed as a viable too is either (a)smoking that good shit or, more likely, (b)living in denial. one of the certainties of life is that many teenagers are going to be curious about sex/sexuality as they go through puberty, and many are gonna end up having sex in some shape or form. so to teach them that abstinence is the only way is not only stupid, it's dangerous.

news roundup

2004-10-20T16:39:00.000-04:00

alright. that's it kids. we can stop stresssing. according to the ap, the kids of america have picked john kerry for their new president. don't scoff -- for the past four presidential elections, the kids have correctly picked the next president.
read the article. it's actually quite interesting. including a quote from linda ellerbee, the host for nick news:

"Kids aren't dumb, they're just younger and shorter," she said. "In fact, last election, a boy came up to me and said, `We picked George Bush to win, and he didn't really win. Al Gore won the popular vote, so we were kinda wrong.' Quite an observation."

oh, if only adults could be as open-minded as kids...

in the same vein of politics, a story from the new york times on the clash between scientists and the current administration. the idea for the story was sparked by the 48 nobel laureates who actively supported kerry for president, something most never do. i already dispise the bush administration, but it's nice to see a balanced, well-written article that ends up still showing what a crock this current admistration is. the dems not to publicize well written articles like this and drag the republicans through the mud on some worthy shit instead of the nickel-and-diming that the republicans win on so often.
i mean, come on. almost every other industrialized nation has signed the kyoto treaty, there's tons of research that points to humans' contributions to global warming, but the united states refuses to?!

sigh. but i ramble and digress.

onto less fiery topics:

newsday reports that some young american muslims are trying to start a reformist progressive islamic movement....

according to the kansas city star, it seems that rosa parks may not be the person who was all fired up about her being mentioned/referred to in the outkast song. (i thought the suit was ridiculous anyway.)....

and the new york times says that the key west is getting just a little less gayer and a little less raunchy, thanks to conservative rich folks moving in.

funny stuff -- a cartoon and an essay

2004-10-19T17:33:00.000-04:00

This Modern World: Channel surfing
where's mary?

our national eating disorder

2004-10-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

interesting article with the hypothesis that americans worry to much about food, which makes us unhealthy.

he compared americans, who are always obsessed with calories and carbs, etc. and yet are still mostly overweight and unhealthy, with the french, who are healthier but also don't obsess over food and instead enjoy food. it also mentions a study that was done about food attitudes amongst the french, american, belgian and japanese. in the study, when shown a picture of chocolate cake, americans were more likely to say that "guilt" was the word that came to mind. for the french, it was "celebration."

hmm. i've always been for enjoying food, but i must say that since my horrible dressing room accident, i've noticed that i've started to fall into the american food guilt trap ... i just need to relax, and realize that it's ok to enjoy food. only then will i not be tempted to gorge on any food, which is what is really the culprit.

fridays

2004-10-08T14:08:00.000-04:00

i've got tgif syndrome. it's almost 2 here and after looking over all the stories i've been assigned at least once, i've realized that i don't want to edit anymore, or think of nice headlines. so what do i do?

retreat to my blog. :)

anyhoo, in the life of me:
i got paid today, and not a minute too soon. i'm failing horribly at operation: you better get yourself together(status: suckage) as well as my whole plan to stem the tide of hereditary fat on my body (yeah, yeah, i'm not fat, blah blah blah ...).

after being excited yet scared about my new yoga dvd last thursday(the instructor is a lot more inspiring and less stupid than the vapid yogalates instructor, but moves hella fast), i have yet to try it again. i've also been ordering outside food (burger king last night, starbucks and cafeteria food all week), which is not good for the body or the pocketbook. and now, i'm about to splurge this weekend on girlfriend and friends.

whatever. i only live once.

on the bright side, i have been good about an extension of operation: you better get yourself together, operation: enjoy what you have, which means digging out old movies and cds that i have and truly enjoying them, rather than buying more cds and dvds. i've been rocking to mr. def and old school jill and my beloved coldplay. i think i'll be ok. the first week is always the hardest.

i've decided to not regale the adventures with my dear haiku, as this entry is already hella long, but i will leave you with this lovely topic of coversation: public bathroom etiquette.

i was at work the other day, talking to a colleague as i walked to the bathroom. it turned out we were both going to the bathroom, so we kept talking as we entere the ladies' room, which is cool, even tho i'm not one for small talk. what bothered me was that as we entered our respective stalls, she kept talking to me!

maybe i'm being anal, but i have to know someone fairly well to carry on a convo while i'm using the facilities. i mean c'mon -- bathroom time is a private time.

things to talk about
~~1. status update on operation: you better get yourself together~~
~~2. operation: enjoy what you have (an extension of operation: you better get yourself together)~~
3. matchmaker?
~~4. the haiku traveling adventures~~
~~5. bathroom etiquette~~
~~6. my growing caffeine dependency~~

dead woman walking

2004-10-07T13:41:00.000-04:00

i'm sooo tired. i think i'm becoming dependent on caffeine. after my lovely weekend at home, i was so tired monday morning, i treated myself to a toffee nut latte. ditto for tuesday.

by yesterday, i felt i should cool it, so i got hot tea at work instead.

and today, i figured i'd next the coffee/tea thing altogether and have water with my breakfast. i need to drink more water.

however, an hour and a half into work, my brain has regressed to a jelly state and all i want to do is sleep. the beatles' song i'm so tired was running through my head as i struggled to think of just a word to put in this headline i was (unsuccessfully) trying to write.

so ... i compromised. instead of jumping in my car and getting a toffee nut latte, i went to the caf and got hot tea. i don't know if tea has less caffeine than coffee, but i like to think it does.
and besides, it's $2 cheaper. :)

there's been so much i've wanted to talk about, but i've been horribly busy at work this week and by the time i get home, i really don't feel like being on the computer at home after being on the computer all day at work.

at any rate, as a way of forcing myself to get all this stuff out, i'll make a list:
1. status update on operation: you better get yourself together
2. operation: enjoy what you have (an extension of operation: you better get yourself together)
3. matchmaker?
4. the haiku traveling adventures
5. bathroom etiquette
~~6. my growing caffeine dependency~~

rainy day for me, but a bad week for others

2004-09-28T13:10:00.000-04:00

woke up to rain and dreariness and went back to bed for 30 more minutes.

i hate going to work when it's rainy. rainy days are good for only three things:
1. spring flowers.
2. staying at home and sleeping.
3. staying at home and reading.

it's a dreary day for me, but not exactly bad. but it's been a bad week for my left index finger (aka miss left pointer). i burned her on a pan sunday when i was cooking, and just when she was recovering from that, i sliced her this morning on my umbrella. (don't ask. i'm spectacularly gifted at hurting myself.)

as i was sitting at the stop light, sucking my finger b/c it hurt and i had no band aid, i realized that miss left has had a worse week than i have had. i needed to suck it up and have a sunny disposition on this rainy day b/c some people (and fingers) were having worse days than i.

on that note, one of my grandmother's best friends died sunday. she was a cousin down the line somewhere -- i was always told to call her cousin lena. she lived next door to my grandmother -- granny -- until she had a stroke about 6 years ago. granny's lived in her house for 50 years; cousin lena was living in her house when my grandfather built theirs.

granny and cousin lena were great friends and their kids played together and were great friends. when i was young and stayed at granny's house after school, i used to ride bikes and play with one of cousin lena's grandsons (kevin), who stayed after school at her house. cousin lena was always soo kind to me. every afternoon, when we came in after playing "bus driver" on our bikes, cousin lena would give us lemonade and cookies. i always picked the butter cookies or the sandwich cookies with lemon filling. i always liked to put the butter cookies on my fingers (they had holes in the middle) and wear them like rings.

after kevin and i grew up and stopped playing over her house, she always asked about me and was so glad to see me when i stopped by. i feel bad that for the past few years, i've always been too busy, too wrapped up in my own self, to go see her.

nevertheless, i will always have the memory of her smile, small plastic tumblers filled with cold lemonade and flower shaped butter cookies.

maryann update

2004-09-27T14:34:00.000-04:00

suckage on maryann's budget reform.
i went to the grocery store yesterday and bought much more than essentials. i rationalized my behavior by saying it fits in my new budget ($50/week for groceries) and i also used coupons. but so much for eating everything in my house first.
i also violated the terms of both my blog budget plan and my "new" budget plan as far as entertainment is concerned -- i bought a cd friday and 2 dvds this morning.
i have a problem. i need to block all media websites until i have a stockpile of money.
i mean, i am in no form or fashion destitute; i have money in a couple other accounts. but i'm trying to learn how to live on a set amount of money and wick away money from that set amount while i'm at it. and i'm soooo sucking at it right now. i have no self control.
....and speaking of lack of self control, i've decided to burn the yoga/pilates dvd (or "yoagalates," as the annoying instructor calls it) i bought a couple of weeks ago, as
(a) i can't take the instructor seriously
(b) the instructor instructs me to do things that i don't understand
(c) i don't feel like i'm doing anything productive, as the instructor is vapid and gives me instructions to do things i don't understand and therefore don't do.
i've had my first lesson in quality, not quantity (as in the quantity of money i have to pay for it) is sometimes better. i'm just mad that i spent money on some bama-ass exercise bands in the process.
i've now bought a yoga dvd that comes highly recommended and will still tone and strengthen my body.

you better get yourself together..

2004-09-22T18:12:00.000-04:00

after a spending binge on ebay, i am now putting myself on spending haitus.
other than perishable essentials, like milk, butter and bread, i am not buying any groceries for the next 2 weeks.
i am not spending any money on entertainment, including movie tickets, dvds and cds.
i am not buying any outside food. given that my usual chilling buddies are no longer on the same schedule as me (:( tear!), that shouldn't be as big of an issue.

only allowable expenditures from now until indefinitely are:
bills.
(as stated before) essential perishables.
gas.

...did you know?

2004-09-16T22:51:00.000-04:00

did you know that the kid who played brian johnson in the breakfast club (anthony michael thomas) is the same guy that plays the lead on that cheesy show on usa, the dead zone?
that's funny.
i love imdb.
and while i love the breakfast club, i think it sucks that everybody hooks up except for brian. does brian not get any love?

i feel blue.

2004-09-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

my girlfriend left yesterday.

the first two days are always hard after she leaves. there are always little reminders of her about the apartment(her towel hanging on my bathroom door, her toothbrush, the fan she placed at the window to "improve circulation") and my bed is suddenly too big for just me.

as a result, i am reduced to a pathetic mess, tearing up at seeing her wash cloth hanging in the shower, searching for her smell in her pillow and generally seeking out haiku to give me comfort. every time she leaves, my general state of sadness makes me think of rachel's voice in the friends episode where ross announces he's getting married to emily. therefore the title. there's so much melancholy in that one phrase ("i feel blue") that i completely relate to.

i feel like such a punk. how can one person affect me so deeply? i should be over this crap anyway...it's been almost 2 years with this girl.

a la the church lady:

2004-09-03T17:24:00.000-04:00

top three movies i saw this summer:
1. garden state
2. hero
3. farenheit 9/11

discuss. :)

i'm baaack...

2004-09-02T15:32:00.000-04:00

i know i’ve been away for way too long. the last two weeks have been hectic.
i’ve been doing one of my least favorite activities, reporting, for the last two weeks, so my schedule has been screwy and by the time i come home, i’ve usually been too disgusted to even think about putting my thoughts on paper (or more appropriately, online, as the case may be).
i’ve also been sick. my dear girlfriend visited me two weeks ago and gave me her cold while she was here (something to remember her by, she said). and a minor cold mutated into a horribly nasty cold that turned into an ear infection.
so yeah. i’ve had a lovely two weeks.
given that it’s been two weeks since i’ve been online to vent, i have oodles to talk about:

right wing nonsense. it is my duty as a rational, sane human being to highlight the nonsense that is going on with some people who pledge allegiance to bush and the republican party. namely, sherri dew and donnie mcclurkin, two people on the stage at the RNC this week. these two people are sad examples of what the republican party is about.
one, sherri dew, spews hate and intolerance. in february, she spoke on threats to the “natural, traditional family,” equating advocates for gay marriage to advocates for hitler’s policies in the 1930s. gee, that’s a solid argument. two people wanting to commit to each other and create a loving family is exactly what hitler wanted. i just do not understand why people see gay marriage as such a threat to their lives. hell, the institution of marriage needs all the help it can get.
the other, donnie mcclurkin, is just a poor misguided man. quoted in newsday as a “former gay man,” this preacher and gospel singer said that by being hetrosexual, he “broke the curse of homosexuality.” to be shaped by warped interpretations of religious dogma so much that one denies their sexuality and then strongly speak against those who embrace theirs is simply sad.
and he has also encouraged his denomination to vote for dubya.

a moment of silence. my favorite pair of navy blue dress shoes died tuesday. the killer - the streets of new york. they were a stylish, trusty companion for 6 years. and now, i have nothing to wear with my navy blue outfits. i’m at a loss for what to do in their absence. i am taking donations and cards at my email address. i’ll have an appropriate memorial when i have recovered from my grief.
the pain of rejection i tried to give blood today and was shot down. i’m going to start to develop a complex. every time i have tried to donate blood (4 times now), i’ve been denied, for different reasons each time. attempt #1, i didn’t weigh enough. attempt #2, i had low blood pressure (i think the girl didn’t know what she was doing that time; i’ve never had problems with my blood pressure!). #3, i had just gotten a tattoo (nevermind i got it at a place that uses disposable needles). and now, #4, i’m nixed b/c i’m taking antibiotics.
i’m starting to think that this whole blood shortage thing they keep talking about is a sham. they’ve turned down my quality blood in three different states on 4 different occassions. i’m just trying to help, man.
i think the saddest moment was when i had to take off the “be nice to me! it’s my first time!” sticker. i had a brief urge to cry.

movie of the week.everyone must go see hero. i saw it last night and was wowed. the fighting was great, but it took a backseat to the plot that kept me guessing, but didn’t seem contrived, the beautiful use of color and cinematography and the heart wrenching love story that had me bawling. i don’t know when is the last time a movie made me cry like that.... it was an emotionally and visually stunning movie.

i strongly dislike this woman.

2004-08-12T18:05:00.000-04:00

michelle malkin.

i was taught by my mother that hate is a strong word, so i will not say that i hate this woman. instead, i will just say that i strongly dislike this woman. granted, in the grand scheme of things, there are others that are higher up on the strongly dislike list that have done far worse things than write fallacious arguments that i don't agree with (ahem, DUBYA!). but after reading a few of her outrageous columns, i just had to say something.

in particular, this article.

in one sense, i could possibly feel her argument that there needs to be diversity of ideas at a diversity conference (in this case, UNITY. i know i've been talking a lot about this conference lately, but bear with me). but after mentioning that UNITY politely declined her offer to sit on one of their panels (no doubt to plug her new atrocious book on why the japanese internment and racial profiling is good), she goes on this tirade about how minority journalists (or at least those that are in charge at UNITY) are closed minded liberals. to prove her point, she writes out a "media diversity checklist:"

I have never voted for a Democrat in my life.

I think my taxes are too high.

I supported Bill Clinton's impeachment.

I voted for President Bush in 2000.

I am a gun owner.

I support school voucher programs.

I oppose condom distribution in public schools.

I oppose bilingual education.

I oppose gay marriage.

I want Social Security privatized.

I believe racial profiling at airports is common sense.

I shop at Wal-Mart.

I enjoy talk radio.

I am annoyed when news editors substitute the phrase "undocumented person" for "illegal alien."

I do not believe the phrase "a chink in the armor" is offensive.

I eat meat.

I believe O.J. Simpson was guilty.

I cheered when I learned that Saddam Hussein had been captured.

I cry when I hear "Proud To Be an American" by Lee Greenwood.

I don't believe The New York Times.

this is ridiculous. malkin complains about the higher ups at UNITY putting all minorities in one box, but then makes a sweeping generalization about what all "liberals" aren't by writing this "list." notwithstanding the absolute title of "liberal" that she loves to throw around, as all conservatives of her ilk seem to like to do, parts of her list have nothing to do with political ideologies.

for example, as a black gay female who typically votes for democrats, i would probably fit under malkin's idea of a liberal. and as a "malkin liberal", there are some things on this list that include me:

12. I shop at Wal-Mart.
what does shopping at Wal-Mart have to do with being liberal, conservative, republican, democrat, independent or otherwise? while i believe that gay marriages should be legal and that dubya's selection was one of the worst things that happened to us, i like to shop at walmart. you can get almost anything there and for cheap. almost everyone likes to save money.

13. I enjoy talk radio.
some talk radio is fun, even listening to people like rush limbaugh and dr. laura (it's nice to listen to the opposition sometimes).

15. I do not believe the phrase "a chink in the armor" is offensive.
"chink" is offensive when you refer to a chinese person or someone of asian descent. any reasonable person knows that the phrase "a chink in the armor" refers to a dent. many "liberals" are reasonable, contrary to what malkin seems to think.

16. I eat meat.
i respect those who chose to forgo eating animal flesh, but damnit, i like being at the top of the food chain. i like a good burger or a slab of ribs as well as some barbecued tofu. but more importantly, what do my eating habits have to do with my ideology?

17. I believe O.J. Simpson was guilty.
believe it or not, there are lots of black people (and "liberals") that think that o.j. simpson was guilty in some form or fashion. i don't think that he actually killed nicole and ron, but i believe he hired someone...

18. I cheered when I learned that Saddam Hussein had been captured.
i may not have liked how all that shit went down, but i was happy at any rate, that saddam was thrown from power. he was a man who did bad things, just not the things bush sent us to war for.

i just think that it's amazing that as a brown person (aka person of color), she could stoop to put people ("liberals," media professionals of color) in boxes when brown people of all professions already have to deal with others putting them in boxes. it's that kind of pigeonholing and broad statements that malkin furthers in this column and others that has contributed to the polarization of this nation.

i'm through.

i love this girl.

2004-08-10T16:44:00.000-04:00

i love stacey ann chin. i forgot how much i loved this poem. it reads so well in my head, but sounded even better when i heard her read it:

Catalogue the Insanity

Catalogue your insanity
type the small words
push them from you
fingers and feet
and fury first
find the flippant denial
affirm it
bend
forget what you used to call her
learn the name of her new lover
write it on wax paper
burn it
forget the smell of her cunt
carry one poem to orgasm

erase the lines
catalogue the blood
drink the solution with intent
it was meant to be so
accept it
chant the inevitable and fold her picture in three
tear into the center of her face
copy the broken image
and send it to her
imagine her happy
smile slitting the frame
imagine her in Iowa
cornfields bending beneath another's hand
the soft land warming her back
catalogue her leaving
admit that she was never there
imagine her driving
haikus scattered from Denver
to Kentucky to Khartoum
construct a betrayal
make it a thing of unspeakable beauty
forgive her
slit your wrists
survive
count the number of times you have kissed her
multiply by three
imagine she kisses Iowa
five times more than that

pack
unpack
pull your shoe-strings tighter than you need to
shave your head
move to Indianapolis
buy a dog
call her impossible
call her cell phone
hang up
call again
obsess
fuck other women who remind you of her
study their scent
shower less
stare at strangers
slip in and out of reality
do not explain yourself
survive
sleep with a man
swallow your fist
feel
survive
scrape the flesh from your unstable legs
abort the skeleton that stands there
ingest one gallon of paraffin
light a match from the box she left by your bedside
imagine her happy
then inhale
- from staceyannchin.com (poem #1)

my dream

2004-08-09T23:33:00.000-04:00

music companies need to pay me to listen to music.

i looove music, but i want more than i can afford to buy. and then on top of that, there are some cds that i'm afraid to but cos i'm afraid they'll suck (ahem, ashley simpson), but curious about.

::sigh::

i'm too tired to wage a major argument anymore, and i'm sure that everyone has heard every gripe about the music industry by now. i'm just grumpy b/c i spend all this money on cds and then they can all be gone in the blink of an eye(like my collection that was stolen that i'm trying to replace). in response to my grumpiness, i've added a new feature, the list of all the cds i want, so everyone can revel in my slow process.

i'm off to troll blogs and go to bed.

p.s. - why did they get rid of the chairs on "tough crowd with colin quinn"? i'd be pissed if i had to be funny, wage witty arguments and stand on a cable show with mediocre ratings...

music television

2004-08-08T18:04:00.000-04:00

disgusting show.

i was watching the ashlee simpson show (i know, clown me if you must) and this came on afterwards. this show is not just a dating show. this show is a competition between two guys who get coached by "studs" on how to get a girl. the inept guy then goes on a date with a girl, and if the girl asks him in at the end of the date, he wins money.

i am so disgusted. a show where men get paid money if they get into a girl's drawers? what's next?

in contrast, i saw this video on mtv hits by this chick named ciara, where she talks about being the shit, but not giving up for cars, cash, etc. and she could work it! she was getting it (dancing) in the video with her revealing bad ass clothes. i like, i like. :D

this bush/UNITY story is better:

2004-08-06T17:54:00.000-04:00

bush at UNITY

nytimes note #2

2004-08-06T17:10:00.000-04:00

read this story supposedly about bush's comments at the UNITY conference in d.c., a convention of all the minority journalist associations (nat'l assoc. of black journalists, asian-american journalists' association, national association of hispanic journalists and native american journalists' association) that happens every five years.

apart from the fact that bush did his usual bullshitting at this speech (even tho he thought he was smart -- "hey, by doing this, i can not only say i like journalists, but i like all minority journalists too!"), i was mad that though the story talks about comments bush made at the unity conference, it doesn't mention unity until halfway through the article. what kind of shit is that? (excuse my french)
were they afraid that if they said it was a minority journalism conference that people would run away scared from the article?

i'm rick james, bitch!

2004-08-06T16:59:00.000-04:00

we must have a moment of silence.

rick james died today.

it's amazing how news about a man who was so ridiculed and deemed as a washout can spread like wildfire through a newsroom.

it's even more amazing how news about this same man can end up prominently displayed on nytimes.com.

it's all b/c of dave chappelle. i guess he's worth all that $50 mil comedy central's paying him. :)

counting the minutes

2004-08-05T18:48:00.000-04:00

it is 6:48 and i am still at work.

and i have an 8 pm reservation for a birthday dinner in my honor. i better not miss it.

i better be leaving here soon, or this paper will have an angry black girl on their hands....

"that dog is a gay homosexual."

2004-08-04T21:24:00.000-04:00

nothing like southpark to perpetuate gay stereotypes and push gay acceptance at the same time. i love that show.

this entry is a random entry.

random thought #1:
i'm halfway through my reporting week from hell.

i'm somewhat enjoying my stint on the business desk, but i don't like the uncertainty of it. while almost every job in (daily) newspapers is uncertain, reporting is the most uncertain. you're dependent on other people to tell you stuff and if they don't feel like talking to you, then you have to find someone to talk to you.

and oh yeah, you have to do all of that on deadline.

editing is so much better b/c:
a. your schedule is much more solid. the only person that you are dependent on (for the most part) is yourself.
b. you don't have to get people to talk to you. on the record.

this story that i will now have been working on for 3 days damn well better be kick ass when i leave tomorrow. and i better leave at a reasonable hour tomorrow b/c i will not miss my own birthday dinner.

random thought #2:
my blog design is indefinitely on hold. i'm a lazy ass.

random thought #3:
this story was funny and sad at the same time.

a man in a wig that drives (and lives) in a car he calls "air ford one" running for illinois senator? hilarious.
mike ditka running for illinois senator? funny.
alan keyes running for illinois senator? sad.

hell, almost all black republicans are sad. i mean, i've heard the arguments. but no matter what, i do not see how any self-respecting black person can say they're a republican. no matter how much the democratic party neglects the black vote (and they do), they are still closer to ideas that support black people. the republican party, or rather, bush's republican party doesn't care about any brown people (black, hispanic, asian, native american and all inbetween).

random thought #4:
the ku has been wearing my nerves today. i'm at my wits end about what to do about her.

random thought #5:
this new blog (well it's not new, but it's new to me!) is kick ass. this guy's a very good writer, is funny, spent some time in dc and has a very interesting blog.

random thought #6:
southpark kicks ass. i'll leave you with some southpark quotes:

"now go play football like a good homosexual."
my mom says god hates homosexuals. that's why they smoked the sodomies in .. france."
"oh no it's the oppressors! christians, republicans and nazis oh my!"
"stan, you really need to lay off the cough syrup dude. seriously. i'm worried about you."

"wow it looks like i don't have a class full of retards anymore, huh does it kids?"
"i just wanted to be your friend, but you couldn't look past my religion and do that. you've got a lot of growing up to do stan. suck my balls."

interesting reads

2004-08-02T12:41:00.000-04:00

my brain is about to go numb during this presentation, so i'm entertaining myself with today's news. some interesting reads:

1. magazines for queer parents -- the lede in this story sucks (i'm not quite sure what qualifies as a "lesbian look" hairstyle is and what actresses are wearing), but the story overall is pretty interesting. i'm becoming increasingly more aware of the growing "gay market," but this is one of the first things i've heard about targeting toward gay families (apart from rosie's gay family cruise - ugh) ... very cool.

2. transexuals in iran -- an enlightening story about transexuals in the muslim-dominated country. an alternately sad and hopeful story. interesting how it seemed that transexuals are deemed better than gays and lesbians, most especially women who are man-identified. hmmm.

3. good 'ol dave barry -- discussion on gender representation with breakfast cereal spokespeople and rambling.

i'll be back later. stealth typing sucks.

ooh.

2004-08-01T22:56:00.000-04:00

in my excitement about the drunken train ride from hell, i forgot to mention the new addition to my technological family.

my birthday is in 4 days, and as a present to myself, i bought:

yes. i finally jumped on the ipod bandwagon after lusting after one for a year and a half. and i'm sooo happy. now i just have to look to stocking up my music collection now. (goody! :D)

good old lirr.

2004-08-01T04:32:00.000-04:00

there's nothing like a 40 minute train ride with drunk college students to really sober you up.

and the day started out pretty cool.

i went to the city with some friends. we walked around central park, which i'd never been to before. we then went to the met, where i lingered in the modern art section ... i don't know if i missed it, but i didn't see much surrealist art (my fav movement). i also had to get used to paying to get in -- in d.c., you rarely ever pay to go to the museums. everything is free, which is how it should be for art and knowledge. at any rate, we then wandered around the village looking for a reasonably priced italian spot and ended up stopping in a barnes and noble, where we scanned the restaurant guides for a place to go. we ended up going to this great restaurant, which had wonderful food, stellar service and prices that were very reasonable. we then got drunk at a dive bar favorite of tucker's, which was fun, only b/c the five of us were there.

but i digress.

given all of that, we come back to the train station, ready to go home to our beds. as we waited for our track # to be announced, i noticed two girls standing by a column. one girl was sitting leaned against the column, either passed out or wishing she was, and the other girl was squatting, her head in her hands and eyes closed, in front of a pile of puke. that should've been a hint.

me and my friends ended up sitting in the middle of one car on the train with drunken college kids on either end. through almost the whole hour-long ride, we heard one group randomly yelling and talking incredibly loud; on the other end, one particular guy demonstrated an affinity for a particular word starting with f, which he uttered frequently and in many different variations. but that wasn't enough. he and his former girlfriend, then started to get into an argument, which also included frequent appearances of his favorite word.

luckily we had 30 minutes of quiet before we got home, but the session was certainly a sobriety-maker.

i'm off to bed.

::sigh::

2004-07-27T22:25:00.000-04:00

how can someone this cute be such a holy terror sometimes?

every time haiku jumps on the dining room table, scratches me or my furniture, or leaves torn newspaper strewn across my living room floor, i need to take a deep breath and look at this picture.

huzzah!

2004-07-27T19:40:00.000-04:00

what was turning out to be a pretty crappy demoralizing day of work/class turned out to be ok.

and how was my day turned around, you ask?

i got my mail key.

see, i somehow lost my mailbox key between sat. and monday. and after talking to my friendly neighborhood post office manager, i was told that i could expect to have me new key delivered tomorrow. so, imagine my excitement when i got home today and saw an envelope with my mail key in it wedged in my door jamb (sp?)! :)

and then, imagine how ecstatic i was when i opened my mailbox and not only had my long awaited credit cards, but also had four count 'em, four of the cds i ordered last week! i also was able to sign up for this amazing deal with cablevision to get cable, internet and unlimited local, regional and long distance phone service all for $90 a month ... so much better than stankin verizon, which charges you an arm and a leg just for regional service... at any rate, i was such a happy camper that i splurged on delivery chinese instead of leftovers. :D

so now, i can tell verizon what cheney told jeffords a week or so ago. i'm so excited.

mondays

2004-07-26T11:53:00.000-04:00

my toffee nut latte has worn off.

it's a monday.

i missed some crucial errors during my morning editing session.

can i go back to bed?

ugh.

2004-07-25T22:20:00.000-04:00

i had great plans for this evening:

i would cook a magnificent dinner, layout my new template for my blog, watch alias, write about this article i read the other day that has been nagging at my brain and then go to sleep. at 10:30 pm, this is how it has all played out:

1. dinner. after spending more money that i meant to at the grocery store, i made a magnificent mess trying to make spinach stuffed chicken breasts. i didn't make the chicken breast thin enough and didn't chop the stuffing ingredients fine enough, so after "rolling" each breast with dollops of stuffing and haphazardly pinning the chicken breasts closed with toothpicks, they fell apart while i cooked them in the frying pan. on top of that, i had mountains of stuffing (a combo of spinach, ricotta, mushrooms, garlic and shallots) left over. and i had a huge mess to clean up.

2. template. yeah, i'm hella frustrated. it's supposed to be "easy," but all html skills i once had have apparently leaked out of my head in the 6 months that i last used them. i have the vision, but the reality is still not here. and i still have to figure out blogger's tags...

3. alias. stankin abc has not shown any reruns for alias. according to the website:

The next episode of Alias has not yet been scheduled. Please check back later.

boo! hiss! how can they keep a following/build a greater following if they show no reruns?! abc is on my shit list...

4. article. as i write this, i realize i could've done at least this one, since i've spent all this time bitching, but oh well. i'll get to it later.

kitty anxiety

2004-07-25T02:58:00.000-04:00

just got home from my day and half excursion in the city. i had fun, but i left the city late this evening so that i could get back to haiku, my kitty.

i just got her a couple of weeks ago, and i felt guilty about leaving her alone for a full day by herself. i left plenty of food for her, a clean litterbox and fresh water, but i still felt so guilty -- what kind of mother leaves their child to their own devices for a day and half just so that they can party and have fun?

so i rushed home, risked being jumped in the bronx at 11 pm on a saturday night or while walking to my car in long island and 1 in the morning, just so that i could make sure my dear, sweet haiku was ok. and, big surprise, she was. very happy to see me, but ok. :)

i'm also pretty psyched b/c i got my first cd from my cd from my cd buying binge on wednesday at half.com and ebay -- a 2-cd set of aretha frankin's greatest hits. i didn't expect to get it so soon, as half.com takes forever and a day, but i forgot that ebay is pretty speedy. i lost my entire cd collection a year ago, and i'm just getting to the point where i can afford to start replacing all my cds. one cd, 100 to go. :)

tomorrow (or later today, rather) is cooking day. i'll possibly be working on my new layout for my blog too, we'll see how the day goes.

welcome.

2004-07-22T18:41:00.000-04:00

welcome to my world.

this is my third blog, two which slowly died from waning interest. however, unlike the last two, this one will not center around one specific topic, but on whatever i feel like talking about, b/c it's my space, damnit! :)

stay tuned for more.

my first tree

2004-07-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

my tree!

It's Still a Man's World on the Idiot Box

2004-07-01T15:45:00.000-04:00

Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company
The New York Times

December 2, 2004 Thursday
Late Edition - Final

SECTION: Section A; Column 1; Editorial Desk; Pg. 39

LENGTH: 747 words

HEADLINE: It's Still a Man's World on the Idiot Box

BYLINE: By MAUREEN DOWD.

E-mail: liberties@nytimes.com

BODY:

It's the End of an Era. A momentous change.

Tonight on NBC, one tall and handsome white male anchor with bespoke clothes will replace another tall and handsome white male anchor with bespoke clothes.

Even Tom Brokaw is a little surprised that he has been succeeded by someone who looks like the love child he and Peter Jennings never had.

''I honestly thought, eight or nine years ago, that when we left,'' Mr. Brokaw said, referring to himself, Peter and Dan Rather, ''that it would be the end of white male anchor time.''

Nah. Those guys are hard to kill off. Indeed, white men are ascendant in Red State America.

As my mom said, discussing her belief that Martha Stewart had been railroaded by jealous men, ''If men could figure out how to have babies, they'd get rid of us altogether.''

The networks don't even give lip service to looking for women and blacks for anchor jobs -- they just put pretty-boy clones in the pipeline.

''I think we're still stuck in a society that looks at white males as authority figures,'' Mr. Brokaw conceded.

Bill Carter, a TV reporter at The Times, agreed: ''Katie Couric may be a much bigger star and even more experienced than Brian Williams. But when the next 9/11 happens, it'll be Brian, not Katie, in the central role. The attitude still seems to be, 'We want a daddy in that chair.'''

And then there's biology. Asked why there couldn't be an anchorette as we enter 2005, Mr. Brokaw, the father of three accomplished daughters and the husband of one strong, cool wife, Meredith, replied: ''You know, honestly, what happens is career interruptus by childbirth and a couple of other things. It's unfair to women that they have to juggle all this stuff, but it plays some role, I think.''

At CBS, the Dan Rather look-alike John Roberts is locked in a battle with the Dan Rather sound-alike Scott Pelley to succeed Dan, and executives are considering four guys -- three of them white -- to replace Craig Kilborn on ''The Late Late Show.''

At NBC, Conan O'Brien is locked in to succeed Jay Leno in 2009, and executives have groomed Brian Williams for a decade to replace Tom Brokaw. I asked Brian in December 1995 if he was a Tom pod person. ''I can deny the existence of a factory in the American Midwest that puts out people like me,'' he said, deadpan, looking at me with those green anchor eyes.

Roger Ailes says he has joked about Mr. Williams having too many shirts, but says he'll ''do better than people think. He has that Tom Brokaw look of somebody every mother wants her daughter to marry.''

Even if I felt like raising a ruckus about Boys Nation, who would care? Feminism lasted for a nanosecond, but the backlash has lasted 30 years.

We are in the era of vamping, self-doubting ''Desperate Housewives,'' not strong, cutting ''Murphy Brown.'' It's the season of prim ''stay in the background'' Laura Bush, not assertive ''two for the price of one'' Hillary. Where would you even lodge a feminist protest these days?

''You ought to call the Lifetime network or, as we say, the 'Men Are No Damn Good Network,' and protest it,'' Mr. Ailes slyly suggested.

I know that women have surpassed men, in many respects, by embracing their femininity and frivolity. Katie Couric and Diane Sawyer, who mix news with dish, cooking and fashion in the morning, are the real breadwinners of their news divisions, generating more ratings and revenue than the cookie-cutter men of the night.

Yet, as Mr. Ailes says, ''network anchoring is still Mount Olympus.'' I checked around for feminist outrage, but couldn't find any. Women told me the nightly news was an anachronism, so why shouldn't the anchor be? ''Caring about having a woman in the showcase or figurehead role seems so 80's,'' one said.

Another friend said she devotes the ''one little ounce of feminist annoyance'' she has left for the excess of ''young fluffs'' on cable news -- as opposed to substantial newswomen, like CNN's bespectacled Pentagon reporter, Barbara Starr, ''who looks like she could hit those generals with a handbag if they didn't give her answers.''

But my pal admits that she watched Mr. Brokaw partly because he was ''eye candy,'' and declares women at fault in this matter: ''Women like to read books about men and go to movies about men. But men don't like to read books about women or go to movies about women. The only way this is going to change is if women refuse to watch men. And the problem is, women like watching men.''

URL: http://www.nytimes.com

Glass Ceilings At Altar As Well as Boardroom

2004-07-01T15:44:00.000-04:00

Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company
The New York Times

December 14, 2004 Tuesday
Late Edition - Final

SECTION: Section F; Column 5; Health & Fitness; Pg. 7

LENGTH: 665 words

HEADLINE: Glass Ceilings at Altar As Well as Boardroom

BYLINE: By JOHN SCHWARTZ

BODY:

Men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be to blame, psychology researchers at the University of Michigan reported last week.

The study, in which college undergraduates were asked to make hypothetical choices, suggests that men in search of long-term relationships prefer to marry women in subordinate jobs rather than women who are supervisors, said Dr. Stephanie Brown, a social psychologist at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research and the report's lead author.

Dr. Brown said the findings, reported in the current issue of the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, could have far-reaching implications. ''These findings provide empirical support for the widespread belief that powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less accomplished women,'' she said.

The researchers asked 120 men and 208 women, all undergraduates, to rate their hypothetical attraction to people they might know from work. The men, for example, were shown pictures and asked, ''Imagine that you have just taken a job and that Jennifer is your immediate supervisor,'' or peer, or assistant. The participants were then asked to rate, on one-to-nine scale, how much they would like to go to a party, date or marry the person.

Women in the study, which was financed in part by a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, did not show a marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or below them on the corporate ladder. And men did not show a preference when it came to the possibility of a one-night stand.

But when asked about long-term relationships, the men showed a marked preference for the subordinates as opposed to the bosses.

The findings, which seem to confirm an uncomfortable number of male stereotypes and many mothers' admonitions to their daughters, reflect more than male vanity and insecurity, the researchers argue. Dr. Brown and her co-author, Brian Lewis of the University of California, Los Angeles, wrote that ''pressures associated with the threat of paternal uncertainty'' shaped the men's decisions.

In other words, a subordinate woman might be less likely to fool around, and ''female infidelity is a severe reproductive threat to males'' in long-term relationships, the researchers wrote.

In fact, the evolutionary interpretation of human mating behavior is controversial. In an e-mail interview, Dr. Ellen Berscheid, a professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, took a slight jab at ''these florid psychoevolutionary interpretations of human behavior that wholly ignore the influence of contemporary, mundane social institutional forces."

Relational dominance, she said, could mean different things in a different study -- like one that created hypothetical mates who were richer or poorer than the research subjects. With a money comparison, she said, ''the results may well have been quite different.''

So, Dr. Berscheid wrote, while ''the results may be interesting in terms of assessing probability of workplace romantic relationships'' under some circumstances, ''I think they probably say little about evolution and human behavior.''

In an interview, Dr. Brown acknowledged that the work was likely to stir dispute.

''It bothers people to think about this in terms of evolution that males could be programmed in any way, or have a predisposition to control another person or member of the opposite sex,'' she said. "I think it's something we wouldn't like to say about males; it's something males wouldn't like to say about themselves.''

In fact, she said, ''I lost a lot of collaborators on this piece.''

She conceded that evolutionary causes could not always be teased out of behavior, saying, ''I don't think it's ever possible to really separate out what proportion of a behavior is shaped by evolutionary history and which parts are shaped by our environment or culture.''

URL: http://www.nytimes.com

LOAD-DATE: December 14, 2004

2004-07-01T02:34:00.000-04:00

four pretty tins in a row.

and more..

and more...

and more..

even more...

more effed-upness

the car is effed up!

coconut, pecan and lemon cookies

up close

move over martha.